Well, my stepson, Jordan, had his surgery and everything went well except it took forever to get him into and out of surgery. He has to spend the night at the hospital.
The surgery was scheduled for 1pm but my stepson didn't actually get in there until 5pm or so. That really sucked. He had not eaten anything since dinner, the evening before, and was very hungry. He didn't get back to his hospital room until almost 10pm. We (his Mom, Dad, Step-dad and I) all thought he might be able to eat then but he was so groggy and just wanted to sleep. I was hoping he would be more awake and stuff but it was not to be.
I don't know what the problem was at the hospital but we (his Mom, Dad, Step-Dad and I) were not impressed with the service - the whole scheduling issue and the lack of communication also. The poor kid hadn't eaten, was probably bored and /or nervous as heck, or at least anxious because he had to wait in pre-op for a few hours (unfortunately I was not there). Before the surgery, I guess the staff kept telling everyone "20 more minutes until surgery - 20 more minutes" so of course no one wanted to leave to maybe like get a break or something. So any info we were given, when we actually received the courtesy of being given information, we could not rely on.
Then after the surgery no one came to tell us anything! No one came to tell us when the surgery was over - I believe his Mom had to go and search out that info. Because of the lack of communication we were not even able to go and see Jordan in recovery - no one let us know. So the day pretty much sucked all around. Like I mentioned earlier, I was not there the whole day, but Jordan's Mom and Step-Dad were, and my husband was there almost the whole day (he arrived around 12pm, we didn't get out of there until after 10pm). That makes for a long stressful day, specially when you want to see your son/stepson safely out of surgery and somewhat alert and happy (and eating since it had been more than 24 hours since his last meal).
I know a hospital can get behind on scheduled surgeries and it may back-up the rest of the day, but this was ridiculous. I am thinking that if your surgery is scheduled for the afternoon you're pretty much screwed. You need to hope and pray for an early morning start time.
Hospitals today - UGH! 
I went to the doctor yesterday. He said it looks like I am 'developing pneumonia' whatever that means. I think I have pneumonia, actually. So he gave me an antibiotic. I do feel a little better today - I am breathing easier and my fever has gone down so that is good. I am just exhausted.
What sucks about it is my stepson is having surgery today (on his collar bone) and I wanted to be there but I don't think I should be around him right now - being as sick as I am. I don't think he will miss me though - as long as his Mom and Dad are there, that is all that really matters. I at least wanted to pop in for a minute and be there for my husband. My Mom was freaking out on me saying that I shouldn't go to the hospital - I will pick up another virus or something (get sicker). She says I should just stay home and take it easy. I don't know.
I guess all I know is that I am exhausted and ache-y and I have a ton of studying to do. I have 3 tests tomorrow (2 of them are tests I have to make-up from Monday) and a rough draft (a play analysis project) due tomorrow. So far all my professors have been understanding but I am not sure I should miss anymore school. I am hoping that my prof will give me a little extra time to work on my rough draft - I had planned to do it this week-end but I was so sick I couldn't concentrate on it.
All I really want to do is sleep. 
UPDATE - My stepson had to be at the hospital for his surgery at 11:30. As of 4pm he still has not gone into surgery! Craziness. It is scary enough having to have surgery - then to make you wait for hours in pre-op really sucks. I have not gone up to the hospital yet because I don't want to spread my sickness around but I am about to leave now (It is 4:30 at this posting) I am freakin' starving. I ate quite a good meal earlier - my illness is not effecting my appetite that is for sure.
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On the broader scale of things, more 'suckage':
Here is and article about the worst places to find employment. Number 3 is Flint, Michigan - I live outside of Flint. Yeah, it is rough around here. The list actually shows Flint as having negative job growth (-5.9 percent). WOW! Major suckage.
Look at the list - Michigan has 7 places on the list - a list of 25. That really sucks. Can we get a bailout? 25 Worst Markets to Find a Job
http://msn.careerbuilder.com/custom/msn/careeradvice/viewarticle.aspx?articleid=1664&SiteId=cbmsnhp41664&sc_extcmp=JS_1664_home1>1=23000
I was hoping that once I felt better I would start looking for a new job. I don't really like McDonalds, the floors make my back hurt something awful. At the very least I was hoping to find a job as a server - I can make better money doing that and I do like being a server the best out of any job I have had. I am just not sure a job is going to be there though, or if I get a job as a server the tips might not be there. If there are no jobs around here, how can people go out to eat? How can they afford it? I don't know - this economy is bringing me down, bigtime. I don't know though - restaurants always seem pretty busy, even around here. People don't seem to cook anymore (including me, haha), I just wonder how the tips are.
Here is the flipside of the article.
25 Best Markets to Find a Job
http://msn.careerbuilder.com/custom/msn/careeradvice/viewarticle.aspx?articleid=1644&SiteId=cbmsnhp41644&sc_extcmp=JS_1644_home1>1=23000
Looks like I need to head west or southwest. 
" Faced with a daughter whose political views are opposite her own, a mom may feel like her kid is rejecting everything she worked so hard to teach, says Kaslow, the Emory University psychologist.
“Some moms might think, ‘Where did I fail? Where did I go wrong? How did I screw this up?” she says, adding that the closeness of the mother-daughter bond can make that relationship potentially explosive, especially compared to other relationships in the family.
And especially in a heated election like this one, politics can become a symbol of identity for some people, Kaslow says. An insult to a preferred candidate can feel like a personal attack. "
SURGERY
My stepson broke his collarbone in gym class a couple of weeks ago - well he needs surgery. I was hoping his collarbone would heal nicely on its own but he needs to have a plate put in to help it heal. He is dealing with it really well, from what I have seen. His surgery is on Tuesday and he will probably have to stay overnight at the hospital. He may need another surgery down the road to have the plate taken out. I hate it when loved ones have to go for surgery - it scares me. 
SICKNESS GO AWAY!!
So I am up pretty late for a school night. I should either be in bed or studying - I have two tests tomorrow, another test Wednesday, and the rought draft of a project due Wednesday. Well I have been having trouble studying today because I feel awful (I got quite a bit down yesterday though). I may not go to school tomorrow. I feel that bad. I can't sleep - I can't lay down because everytime I do, no matter which way I lay, I cannot breathe. It feels like there is a weight in my chest, heck, my upper back even hurts because of it. Even sitting up, breathing is difficult although I feel a tiny bit better this moment. I also have the most atrocious cough. I have been coughing so hard that I almost pee'd my pants and I have a headache. Shite, I coughed so hard I almost threw up. Earlier I had a fever of 101. I am scared tonight - I have toyed with the idea of going to the hospital but I don't know if I would even see a Dr by morning and who needs a ER bill? I am getting oxygen - I am not turning blue or anything, so I hope to be all right and head on out to the Dr tomorrow ASAP.
This just pisses me off though. I am sick of being sick. I was sick a couple of weeks ago with the same type thing - a head cold that went into my chest - it just wasn't that bad then. I thought I was over it but now the damn thing is back this week. I had to call off from work 3 times this week, which annoys me and I know it really annoys my managers.
At least one off my teachers is understanding. I emailed all my professors tonight, telling them I may not be in class tomorrow. My prof from the literary analysis emailed me back already. This is what she said:
"I just read such a good paper of yours, that you have earned yourself an extension until Wednesday on the bib and poetry revision. Get well. Nice job on the drama paper.
-vickie"
What a doll. I am so glad she let me know about my paper too. That is the play analysis I was beating my head against the wall over last week. The formalist paper I had to do about August Wilson's "Fences". WAHOOO, that is one piece of good news I needed. I really busted my ass on that but I still wasn't sure about it.
I think that is part of the reason why I am sick. That damn analysis! No, not really but I think I have been trying to do too much. I already have problems with energy and getting enough sleep because of my Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, then add to it being ill all summer long (that is a story no one really wants to know about), then trying to work part-time and go to school full-time (16 credits worth) ...well my system is just kicking back at me. I just don't know what to do. I just have to make through this semester in one piece. 
Yeah, my fever is still up there - 100.8
That is why I would like to kick myself for not going to college as soon as I was done with high school, I seemed to have less distractions then. Oh, OK most of the time I enjoy school, it is the damn homework that gets me. Or having to write papers that don't seem to have a point.
My Sweetest Day bouquet. Isn't it pretty? Isn't my husband sweet? I like to take pics of any bouquets I get so then I have the memory forever, plus I love photographing flowers.
For any friends over here that are also on Myspace - check out my page over there. I did it up for Halloween a couple of nights ago (looking for inspiration somehow or trying to get creativity flowing) and it is freaky (hehe) - I put on some crazy Halloween-y songs too. I might keep the page dark and go goth.
http://www.myspace.com/jashalyn
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This is a very interesting slideshow. I especially love the last slide about 'flourishing'.
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Surprising Signs You'll Live Longer Than You Think - 13 - Women's Health - MSN Health & Fitness
) and I got really excited. I asked my husband "I wonder if you can make any money photographing flowers?" Haha. I guess I'm a nerd. But look at this .....
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I love Dave Chapelle and Charlie Murphy is hilarious too. I love his "True Hollywood Stories" on Dave's show (stories about when he hung out with his brother Eddie back in the 80s). I love the expression on his face - he seems so innocent and hokie, "What?" LOL - or is it gullable yet puzzled?
That is difficult for me - LOL. Waiting for the Barbarians
By J.M. Coetzee
Page 45
“Sometimes my sex seemed to me another being entirely, a stupid animal living parasitically upon me, swelling and dwindling according to autonomous appetites, anchored to my flesh with claws I could not detach. Why do I have to carry you about from woman to woman, I asked: simply because you were born without legs? Would it make any difference to you if you were rooted in a cat or a dog instead of me?”
This passage illustrates the Magistrate’s growing disenchantment with himself and his sexual behavior. The Magistrate is beginning to see himself as an unwilling participant in his life, pulled along by desires and expectations out of his control, whether it is through his own body or through the Empire. In fact, the author J.M. Coetzee is using the Magistrate’s penis to symbolically represent the Empire.
The magistrates disenchantment with his penis, thus with the Empire, is represented throughout the whole passage but is best illustrated through this line, “Sometimes my sex seemed to me another being entirely, a stupid animal living parasitically upon me, swelling and dwindling according to autonomous appetites, anchored to my flesh with claws I could not detach.” Overall, Coetzee wants the reader to feel that the Magistrate is controlled by a faceless entity or idea.
First, the Magistrate refers to his penis as “my sex” which depersonalizes it. Coetzee chose this phrase to make the magistrate’s penis seem unimportant, a mere biological designation. Then he goes on to give the penis a sort of personification through the use of the word being, likening it to a stupid animal. Coetzee wants the reader to think of the penis as not part of the Magistrate – he wants the reader to picture the penis (or ‘being’) as a mere biological functioning entity with no intelligence other than that of survival (a stupid animal). The words stupid and animal are used here to show that the penis did not have the intelligence of a human. Not only is the penis a stupid animal, it is a parasite. It derives its nourishment and mobility from the host – which is the Magistrate.
The penis is in control of the Magistrate through its “swelling and dwindling”. Swelling refers to an erection - the penis swells when it wants to ‘feed’; dwindling refers to the penis when it is flaccid, or sated. The Magistrate is powerless against this routine; he does not have control over it and does not understand why it occurs. Indeed the next words in the sentence gives evidence to this for the penis is “swelling and dwindling according to autonomous appetites”. Coetzee chose the word autonomous to illustrate the Magistrate’s belief that the penis has freedom and a will of its own. It also has an appetite - it hungers or desires for things the magistrate does not. Coetzee is trying to dissociate the Magistrate from the desires of his penis and to illustrate his feeling of being controlled by this thing that is “anchored to (his) my flesh with claws I could not detach.” The words anchor and claws brings about the feeling of pain in relationship to the word flesh. Also, the word anchor evokes the feeling of weight or heaviness and permanence in which the Magistrate cannot be separated from. Coetzee uses claws to continue with the whole animalistic being theme.
In the last part of the passage, the Magistrate begins to have an internal dialogue with himself or between himself and his penis. He asks rhetorical questions of his penis, such as, “Why do I have to carry you about from woman to woman, I asked: simply because you were born without legs? Would it make any difference to you if you were rooted in a cat or a dog instead of me?” This sentence as a whole, with the reference to “a cat or a dog” (this also calls to mind that whole stupid animal theme again) makes the reader question the Magistrates importance in the scheme of things. He is just a host, anyone or anything else will do. The word carry is used to make the Magistrate just a passive assistant, the “legs” of this parasite, his penis, moving it from place to place, meal to meal, conquest to conquest – “from woman to woman”. Coetzee uses the word rooted in the last sentence to suggest just how much the penis (the Empire) is a part of the Magistrate. Rooted means to have put down roots, to be firmly implanted or embedded into an organ or structure.
This passage occurs early on it the book. Winter has set in, Colonel Joll has left and the Magistrate realizes he cannot, or does not want to have sex with the blind girl. At first read, this passage might not seem that important in relationship to the text as whole; possibly just a few amusing sentences. But with further analysis into it, especially in relationship to what had just happened – the Magistrate’s inability to have sex with the blind girl; it becomes clear that Coetzee wants this passage to show that the Magistrate is starting to question his behavior, his desires, and his own autonomy in relationship to these.
Here is a llink to info about the book (plot synopsis). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waiting_for_the_Barbarians
I have never written the word 'penis' so many times in my life LOL! I feel like Dr Ruth Westheimer.
I guess I have been sticking my head in the sand, so to speak. But what can I do? I think this is the trouble with most Americans - we feel helpless. ).). Well in the blink of an eye, her wedding is a week away and it has become an actual ceremony. I talked to her last week and surprise, she said "you know I want you to be in the wedding" OK. So I was in a wedding this past Sunday. I don't know, for some reason I didn't think she was serious. I thought only her daughter was going to stand up with her. Luckily the dress I wore to the wedding ended up matching the color scheme. The wedding turned out to be really nice for being quickly put together. It was a lovely country wedding, and fun was had by all. Even my stepson had fun. He hung out with Rachel's daughter and her friends the whole time. They really seemed to hit it off (they had met before but it has been a year since they seen each other). Check out the pictures I took. Rachel and Stephanie look gorgeous. Rachel's wedding made me want to have a wedding all over again, or at least put my wedding gown on. LOL.
We had to hurry home from the wedding Sunday in order to get Jordan back to his mom's house (and I had homework). Well, we wanted to stop by his Aunt's house (which we did) and my Mom's to hit them up with a band fundraiser. Unfortunately, we didn't have time all week-end or the week prior with all the running around (as it is Jordan forgot all about the form but luckily his Dad and I had picked one up). . My nephews are so silly. Jordan wanted to get something to eat since he did not eat before he left the wedding (and there was tons of food too). So we planned on stopping at McDonalds but did not plan on getting the little ones anything because they had dinner waiting for them at Grandma's. Yeah right! We are driving down the road and my 4 year old nephew, Lil Kenny said "Aunt Jackie I'm hungry" and "Aunt Jackie if you go straight down this road there is a McDonalds. I want McDonalds" Dang it! hahahaha, kids always know about McDonalds. So we head on toward McDs. As we are pulling into McDs, my car starts dinging and the door ajar light comes on!!! My 2 year old nephew had opened his door. Yikes! Luckily he was strapped into his car seat. Then Lil Kenny wants to go inside the McDonalds - sorry kid, no time. I pull up to the drive through and could barely order because I was laughing so hard, Lil Kenny was shouting what he wanted, and Lil Alex mimicking his brother. I got him and Alex nuggets. I figured that would be less messy (originally Kenny wanted a cheeseburger Happy meal and nuggets!!). We get the food and Kenny demands "Where's the sauce?" hahaha, you're not getting any! Aren't I mean? Then Kenny says "I'm firsty" He wanted lemonade and mean Aunt Jackie didn't get him any and Jordan wasn't sharing his pop. I know this is a very silly story but I had fun and I want to remember it. I need to spend more time with my nephews. 
I received an A on my Algebra test, and an A on my English test. Woohoo! I did not think I would get A's on the tests because I was not able to study like I wanted to but somehow I pulled it off. So, along with the A on my first Psych test, I have a good start to the semester. 
| 1. | a person who pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles, etc., that he or she does not actually possess, esp. a person whose actions belie stated beliefs. |
| 2. | a person who feigns some desirable or publicly approved attitude, esp. one whose private life, opinions, or statements belie his or her public statements. |
) , and don't pretend to be something you are not. I guess all these values are old-fahioned, out-dated, and out of fashion (maybe they were never in).
What makes it so plausible to assume that hypocrisy is the vice of vices is that integrity can indeed exist under the cover of all other vices except this one. Only crime and the criminal, it is true, confront us with the perplexity of radical evil; but only the hypocrite is really rotten to the core.
Hypocrisy, the lie, is the true sister of evil, intolerance, and cruelty.
I got an A on my first Psychology test!! 100% - I am so happy.
Now I hope I receive good grades on the rest of the stuff I am waiting for (and for the rest of the semester for that matter).
