Am I a whole person? Today I am feeling so scattered... so shattered that I do not feel whole. I feel like I need to pick up the pieces of myself and try to integrate them into one whole person. It is school that does this to me. Analyzing literature, to be more specific. It makes me think of things within me that I had long forgotten and buried. I get angry that I had buried this part of myself... this artsy, creative part. I get angry because I don't know how to express this. I don't think I have the energy or the time or maybe not even the talent and tools. Why do I doubt myself? I do obviously - I buried this part. OK, maybe I didn't bury it completely but I continously try to push it away, hide it for some unknown reason. Am I afraid? I know I get so angry about this but then I push it back down again. This drives me crazy.
This is why people should go to college when they are young! More time to deal with stuff and nonsense like this. Also younger people can get away with the self-centeredness it takes to work through this stuff (stuff just about encompasses what I am feeling right now!).
No comments:
Post a Comment