Baby Fever

OMG! I think I am getting baby fever. Well maybe it is only fleeting. I just feel like I am running out of time if I want to have kids of my own. I have been on the fence about it for a long time. I know I will regret it if I don't have a child but it is also nice not to have that responsibility. Most of the time it is just me and my husband and that is always nice - we can do what we want. hahaha  

 

I have never been a baby person, although I love baby dolls. Babies are cute but I have never been one to go crazy over them. I like kids when they are a little older - ok toddlers are cute and fun. They crack me up but I always have been able to leave them with their parents when I was tired, haha. I was reading on this chat board I visit every onec and a while (check it out - it is all about blended families for any steps out there http://www.thenestbaby.com/stages/stage.aspx?stage=months612&ForumID=428) about all the mothers trying to concieve and I am starting to feel like I want that too. Yikes! My cute little smiley nephew is getting to me!! The little ham.

 

I guess I have always felt two ways about the subject of having kids. There are plenty of people in this world, do I really need to add to it? I have always felt that if I had a kid it would be more to please my parents than for myself. They would like to have a granddaughter. I would like to have a daughter too. But I am independent and need a lot of time to myself - how does a kid fit into that? It is so nice to be able to go when I want and not have to worry about a babysitter. Yes I have a stepson but he has never been my responsibility in that way. I came into his life when he was 5. Sure I watched him at times but most of the time his Dad has been around. It's like that when you only have every other week-end with the kid. My stepson has never been a burden so to speak - never hindered me from doing the things I want/need to do. If I had a baby I know that would change, I would have to give up a lot of free time. I know it would be worth it but I am not sure if I am up for it. I would need to have a support group in place, LOL. And like I said, I know I will regret it if I don't have a child of my own. I have always wanted a daughter - heck I saved all my dolls, barbies and books for her! I have always wanted to be a grandmother too. Motherhood has not always been the best thing to me - too much heartache; being a grandma seems like it is more fun, haha.

 

Even my body is telling me I need to get to it, or it is my mind messing with me. I had a dream a few nights ago that my eggs were bad, LOL!!! In the dream I opened a dresser drawer (top drawer) and in there was a flat of eggs. I said to myself "Now why did I put these in here? They are all spoiled now!" I am so silly - I meant to put them away and forgot about them. Uh oh!" Isn't that a crazy dream? I know though, that if I want to have a baby I need to get healthy and lose some weight. I would be in bad shape if I tried to have a baby now, and I would get as big a house - yikes! Just another reason to haunt my doctor.

 

 

Me and my favorite baby a long time ago. I still have her. I am not doing the peepee dance in this photo, I was trying to pull my shorts down before Grandpa snapped the photo.