I'm on a roll ...

I'm on a roll getttng rid of my rolls. Well a small roll. I didn't go to the gym this week at all. That is very bad. Same excuses as always - too many other things to do (Homework!) and not enough time and energy. I have been getting on the Wii though so that is good. I have done Just Dance 2 three days in a row now. Wahoo! I can't say enough how much I love that game. It is super fun.

I also did Wii Fit the last two days. Yesterday I was down 2.2 pounds from the last time I was on two weeks ago. Today I was down even further - it said I lost a little over a pound since yesterday. Now those are results I like to see! I know that is unrealistic but hey, maybe all the dancing and sweating is the way to go. Or maybe I unloaded all the Thanksgiving dinner I took in on Thursday. EWWWWW, sorry TMI.

Not Right!!

Are they sure this guy isn't from Poland?? LOL

 

Man Walls Himself Into Cellar

A 64-year-old German man accidentally walled himself into his own basement and only managed to escape by drilling his way through to his neighbors' basement. The incident occurred in the town of Gumperda.

 

http://specials.msn.com/A-List/Lifestyle/man-walls-self-in.aspx?cp-documentid=26515174

 

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/germany/8160038/German-DIY-enthusiast-walls-himself-into-own-cellar.html

I Feel Like Singing!!

Tonight I decided to put my Ipod on while I write. Bad idea. The first two songs were old favorites and now I just want to forget writing and sing my heart out. I haven’t done that in a while – I don’t sing like I used to; I don’t listen to music as much as I used to. I think that is a byproduct of depression. I am starting to come out of it and hopefully gaining more energy so now I can allow music back in my life. I just can’t sing and let in all out tonight because I have a lot of writing to do and my husband and stepson are home – I can’t belt out all my favorite love songs for fear of embarrassing myself. I would probably scare the crap out of them too, ha.

I wonder how many calories singing burns? I looked it up - sitting and singing for an hour burns about 157 calories. Standing and singing for the same time burns around 367. Awesome! I will have to remember that. I usually stand and sit while I am singing and my ‘concerts’ usually last at least an hour.  I could add singing at least once a week to my exercise/activity regimen.

Activity Calculator:

http://health.discovery.com/centers/cholesterol/activity/activity.html

I sometimes think that if I sang every time I got a really bad food craving, I might not eat, I might forget about the craving. I have never really tried it because (my will power isn’t strong enough) I am weak when it comes to food. I want to eat! Well there is always my lack of energy problem, and food gives me a short term high. Singing usually tires me out. I would still like to do some research on this concept - can a person be successful at replacing food cravings with a hobby or activity? Interesting… I wonder if there are any studies out there on that – something I will have to investigate.

Just Dance!

Yay! So I got on the Wii today and I have lost 2.2 pounds since the last time I was on two weeks ago. Of course my BMI is down a slight bit also. That is awesome considering all the food I ate yesterday. I did a few balance exercises on the Wii fit and then I couldn’t wait to try out Just Dance 2 again. First I decided to try the other new game I bought – Gold’s Gym Dance Fitness.

I popped that one in and set up my profile and did a little bit. I didn’t like it very much – it is too hard and goes too fast. You really have to be coordinated to work out to that. Plus I wanted to see what music was on it but I couldn’t figure out if I could pick my songs or if I had to work my way (earn it) through. I had to give up. I think I will put that one away for when I get a little more coordinated.

Then I put in my Just Dance 2. I was thinking that I would just do one song and then stop but I ended up having so much fun with it I did about 4 songs. That kicked my butt again but I like it. I just don’t know what is so fun about that game but it is fantastic. If I only have enough time to work out to that every day I will lose weight in no time. Most of the time I don’t even move my legs – the whole not coordinated thing prevents me. With practice I hope to get better.

It is so weird that I like that dancing game. I was never much of a dancer or at least not one for choreographed dance. When I was a kid all the girls I knew always wanted to pretend like they were dancers (that was back in the early 80’s and Solid Gold was a big thing, haha – look it up young’ins!)or cheerleaders and that never interested me that much. I am surprised I love Just Dance 2 so much. It might be because it is more fun than just regular exercise or aerobics and the dances aren’t all the same – more variety. Anyway I am happy I bought that game.

Festivities

I hope everyone had a happy Thanksgiving. I had an excellent one although it is not going to help my quest to lose weight at all. I had TWO Thanksgiving dinners! Well not all on the same day, thank goodness. My husband and I went to my Mom’s Wednesday night and had Thanksgiving dinner with her and my sister-in-law and my nephews. I did not stuff myself, which is a good thing. This was partly due to this not being the best Thanksgiving dinner my Mom has ever cooked. Don’t tell her I said that.

*My youngest nephew, Brent, Brent the holy terror. He is not as innocent as he looks

* I titled this picture "Thanksgiving Rolls" - Brent took a picture of my fat rolls, ha.

 

On Thanksgiving we went to my husband’s family get together. I must say I did some damage to the food table. I did go back for seconds. All the food was sooo good! I did a really good thing though. I brought the Wii game (I bought it online but hadn’t had time to play yet), Just Dance 2, to the party in hopes I could get my two youngest nieces to play with me. They were excited to play so after dinner we popped the game into the Wii. That is one hard game! It kicked my butt and made me sweat big time. I did about two songs (maybe 3) and that was it for me. It was fun though. My youngest niece (she is 7) lost interest in it pretty quickly because the game is pretty difficult at first. I thought my idea was going to fizzle out but most of the family started playing and those who didn’t play had a lot of fun watching the dancers. I was surprised to see my nephews really liked the game and even my brother-in- laws got up there to dance. We all played for about four hours! The game was a big hit and I must have laughed my butt off – that burns calories, right? Everyone had a good time and it sure beat sitting around nodding off to football on the TV. So I am happy I brought the game and I think I am going to bring it to the family Christmas too.

 

Various Dancing Pics:

 

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. I hope that we all have a lot to be thankful for. I know I have a lot to be thankful for. I am afraid to write about it all though for fear I will jinx some of it. I am silly. I am not normally superstitious but that is the one way that I am. I always think about the story of Job from the bible, not that I am that devout or have everything that I have always wanted but I am blessed. I need to spend more time with God.

 

I was reminded of this last night in my internship. Dr. D used to be a minister <I think> or at least has helped out his church in that capacity before. He read a client a passage from the Bible that I really liked - James, Chapter 1, verses 2-8:

 

^"2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,^a]">[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. ⁵ If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. ⁶ But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. ⁷ That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. ⁸ Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do."

 

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=James+1&version=NIV

 

Now I do this often, even without truly realizing it and even without being religious (churchy). I do talk to God and ask for guidance. This has always brought me comfort. For that I am thankful.

 

Things Too Painful to Write About

So I got this great idea from my friend Jeanette. She made a list of things to painful to write about, and find that extremely interesting. I don't know if she intends to write about them. We talked about it and perhaps needing to write through the painful things in our lives but I get the impression that she is not ready. I decided to make my own list like that also but for me these things are not too too painful to write about. I mean I will get around to writing about them just so I can work through some stuff that makes me depressed. I am generally not afraid to deal with my issues. 

 

Some of the things on my list:

 

Something my counselor noticed about me (pointed out to me), and it surprised me, is how I will cut off my emotions. I never consciously thought about that but on some level I realize that I do that. When I feel emotional pain and I can't or don't want to deal with it I will just shut it down. I do this with physical pain also. A big part of it is I don't like to cry, or show an huge amount of emotion in front of people. I can't say I never have but I do try to keep it under wraps. I always think that people don't need to deal with my emotional crap. This begins to be a problem when I have trouble showing affection because of blunted emotions and also when I shut down the emotions (which oddly enough is related to with my creative side) when I have to deal with an issue in counseling - those painful issues. So I cut off the emotion, I put it away until I have time to deal with it, which seems to be never. It is almost like Scarlett O'Hara's (Gone With The Wind) favorite saying - "I can't think about that right now. I'll think about that tomorrow, after all tomorrow is another day."

 

So does this make me afraid to deal with my issues after all? In a way I think on some level I am because I am afraid to fall into that black hole of depression and not be able to work my way out of it. Another part of my not dealing with some of 'these things' is that my issues, my depression stems from stuff that happened to me a long time ago, which some stuff now triggers. Life moves fast and I am doing all I can to keep up with the here and now. I feel I have little time to deal with the stuff from the past. Plus I thought I had dealt with the stuff, I didn't realize I was just shutting down a lot of the time. Then I think why do I have to deal with this stuff - that is not my life now? Why can't I just move on (recurring theme with me)? In a lot of ways I have moved on because time has a way of pulling you but in a lot of ways my issues affect me, like with the depression. I feel that stuffing these emotions away has also made me stuff parts of me away, the parts that contain most of my creativity. Creativity is important to me and I don't want to lose that part of myself. I also don't want to lose some of the memories connected to the painful issues. I hope that working on this stuff will help me with my creativity and also my energy level in the long run (I find they are connected as well).

 

Eating! That is a way I stuff some emotions down or away. I never really noticed it fully until just recently. On some level I realize that I eat to lift my mood and self-medicate but for the most part I always told myself I ate to get energy, to stay awake. A lot of my eating is to stay awake but there is a connection to emotional eating also. It is so weird how all that is connected - the depression, the stuffing of emotions, eating, energy. But I digress. A few weeks ago after a difficult session with my counselor (we had been talking about the death of my grandma and how a lot of stuff in my life seemed to go to hell or changed after) I felt really bad but I couldn't really process it because I had class to go to and other obligations, etc. I decided to go to lunch and went to the buffet on campus. I ate a plate of food and still felt horrible. I was thinking this sucks. I was trying to shut the bad feelings down but it wasn't working, the counselor had touched on something. I went and got a piece of banana cream pie. I took a bite and that bite, the sweetness, lifted my mood immediately. I felt worlds better. The damn pie helped me stuff my emotions away. Wow, that was the first time I had ever consciously felt that effect.

 

Another issue is anger. Depression is anger turned inward. What am I so angry about? Am I angry about the things that happened to me? Things for the most part I had little control over? I realize I am angry over the things I had control over but didn't do much to help myself. I usually don't have trouble expressing anger, especially when I have a blog to come to and write it away. In some ways the anger eats away at me through negative self talk and negative self image. I made my list of "Things Too Painful To Write About" and a lot of that list deals with the things in me I don't really like. It is not all about the negative things that happened to me. UGH! I don't know, just that my issues make me angry, the fact that I can't get over some stuff makes me angry and I don't want to be angry or be perceived as an angry person. Truthfully I don't think I am perceived (except by those who have felt my wrath and only that, ha) that way but I know the anger that exists inside of me and it is not healthy.

 

So I have my list. I have this insight. I guess I need to get to work writing through my issues. I can't do it all on here though but as always I don't mind sharing some of what I am going through in hopes that it will help someone on some level.

 

Reading this over it is very scattered but writing this all out is a process I have to go through. I will put it all in some kind of order later. It also comes across as if I want people to feel sorry for me. I don't, that is not what I am looking for. I just am exploring my issues, attempting to get the stuff written so I can work with it, make sense of it.

Clinical Psychology

Quotes from my PowerPoint. Yes, I am quoting myself. Aren't I so in love with me, LOL. Really I just want to remember these thoughts to work on in the future.

 

"Psychology is not all cut and dry, diagnose once and apply the proper treatment. Rarely do clients fall into/have just one mental disorder or issue. Therapy is an ongoing, often slow process that must address many different issues on many levels – no one theory is the ‘magic bullet’ that addresses the problem(s) completely."

"As a clinical psychologist you have to be on your toes. You have to think fast and draw on all your resources to do what is best for your clients. It can be stressful but also rewarding. It is not for the faint of heart or for someone hoping to make big money. You must have a need, a drive to help people and you must have compassion and empathy. You must be able to accept different types of people on their terms.  At the same time you must also make sure to take care of yourself and to know yourself - your strengths and limitations."

No Classes Today

Yay! I ain't got no class today! LOL. I don't have wind symphony class today, as well as on Wednesday. I wish I could relax but I have all that damn homework (plus my internship on Monday and Wednesday) - so many papers to write so little time. I overslept today and missed my gym time which is frustrating. That makes 2 days in a row. I cannot oversleep anymore. I was up late the last 2 nights doing research for my papers so at least I was getting something done. UGH but still, I am tired and scatterbrained. I feel like I have ADD or something. I need to straighten up!

 

My husband and I watched Dexter last night. It was an awesome episode - only three more episodes left and the season is finally coming together. The first part of the season was moving kind of slow and I was worried that the show might have jumped the shark but maybe not. I am toying with the idea of starting a Dexter blog just so I can write and analyze the themes in that show (an excuse to watch all the episodes all over again, hehee). In addition to being highly entertaining most of the time, it is one interesting, thoughtful show. I don't know though, there is a lot  to write about and I have too much on my plate right now. Maybe when I transfer my blog over to somewhere else I will make a Dexter corner.

 

After Dexter I turned to (when I should have been doing homework, dammit!) the learning channel and watched that show Sister Wives. Now that is one interesting show! I love the family dynamics and the women face many issues being in a plural marriage, like handling jealousy issues, making the most out of your relationship with your husband, independence, balancing your needs against the needs of others, to name a few. Whether you approve of their lifestyle or not or even like the husband Cody or the wives, there is much in the show that makes you think about relationships in general. I find it very edifying! ha.

 

While we were watching that, a Kate Plus Eight commercial came on. My husband and I cannot stand that lady and we feel sorry for her kids. This commercial spurred a conversation about divorce because Kate said something like "I am having anger issues about my divorce." I wonder about those anger issues. I really need to explore 'anger issues in divorce' and why some people hold onto that and let it color their relationship with their ex, which affects the children involved. If there aren't any children it really doesn't matter but when there are children involved it is good if the divorced parents could at least make an effort to get along and leave the  anger issues for their therapist (because it takes therapy to get over that) or at least to talk about when the children aren't around. I am not sure how Kate handles these issues with her children because I don't watch the show and of course editing is involved. I know how other mothers have handled their anger issues and I am not impressed. This may be the pot calling the kettle black because lord knows I have anger and I vent it here but in my defense I vent it here so I don't have to vent elsewhere and I hope someday my writing will help someone (actually I think it already has). It is funny how much I write about this but these issues are seen in the counselors office and I will have to deal with them with future clients. So at the very least I have this experience, this knowledge and it may lead to some research down the road also.

 

Back to mother anger issues in divorce. Why can't a woman get over the divorce when she is the one that wanted the divorce and should be happier once the deed is done? Is it because she has to still have contact with the ex for the sake of the children? It is not fair to take the anger out on anyone because after all what did she think would happen - her ex would fall off the face of the earth after the divorce? Perhaps that is what all people in divorce wish would happen to their exes but of course it doesn't happen. It is all about the choices you make. You made the choice to have a child with someone. You made the choice to get a divorce. Where does the anger come in? I can totally see it if there is infidelity, abuse, or deception involved - yes I would be angry but you still can't go around being angry all the time  and letting it show when you have to deal with another party in regards to a child. It isn't healthy for anybody. It is hard dealing with 'anger issues' but you seek help, you deal with it and move on.

 

Of course I have my own little experience to write about. Lets just say I know of a situation where the mom was unfaithful and obviously wasn't happy with her choice of mate. She got a divorce, taking the child with her. The dad was surprised and hurt of course; Especially when the mom made false allegations of abuse to try to excuse her poor behavior or maybe just to give an 'acceptable' reason for the divorce so she wouldn't look bad. The dad being a reasonable person tried to move on but also maintain a relationship with his child. From my perspective, it seems like every time the mom can (wow that must take an awful lot of energy - negative energy and spite), she raises a fuss over nothing about child support, custody and parenting time issues a lot of the time in front of the kid. And it is not in the best interest of the kid either, it is just to vent her anger or ill feelings. (This happens a lot and I have heard stories like this from a lot of fathers.) The dad tried to work with her, often giving in, often compromising for the sake of the child. The mom on the other hand, because of her anger issues, will not work with the dad hardly at all. This is still going on even after years and years. There comes a time when a person is not willing to give an inch anymore and anger builds in both parties after ongoing insults, manipulations, bullying and slights. First I wanna' know where does the original anger stem from? Is it because the mom made the wrong choice in mate originally and now she is stuck keeping contact? Is it because the dad is still a part of his kid's life? Is it because she received negative attention because of the divorce? What did she think would happen? Second I wanna' know when does it all stop? Again it comes done to choices a person makes and how they live with those choices. I will have to explore this issue further.

 

****

As a reminder to me and side note ... Isn't it lovely how there are instances when you fall in love with your husband all over again? Those times when you have great conversations or are riffing (joking) on each other, making each other laugh. Simple times too, not always a special occasion or holidays just on those days or week-ends when there is nothing special going on or nothing in particular of note. You are reminded of what a great person you married and all the great things you share, have shared. This was one of those week-ends for me. I love my husband. I couldn't have found a better friend or supporter. He is the sweetest guy with depth of understanding, principles and ethics and a great sense of humor. Just what I always needed.

Organizing

Friday night was the second meeting of the writer's group some friends and I are starting. It went well and I am getting tons of insight and ideas about what I want to write about. We mainly hammered out some of the logistics of the meetings last night then we all (plus my husband) headed out to watch a hockey game between UM-Flint and Kettering. It was a good game but UM-Flint lost. It was more exciting than a Red Wings game, that's for sure. I wouldn't mind going to another.

 

We all had a good time and I think this group is going to be fun. I was a little worried about it - the time involved, sustaining interest, and getting everybody together on the same page but we came up with some great ideas to start out with and ways to keep it interesting. It will be challenging though – I hope I will be able to write some interesting stuff. I started a small list of stuff I want to write about; personal stuff for me and more creative stuff for the group. I have to separate my blogging/journaling from my creative writing. I haven’t really done a lot of creative, fiction writing so I am a little scared.

 

I am going to have to try to write at least three hundred words a day, religously. That is what Jeanette tells me and that rule came from Jan Worth-Nelson, UM-Flint creative writing prof and published author (everyone who has this prof loves her but says she is difficult - I had another prof for my creative writing class and I am kinda glad but sad at the same time).THWADs is what she calls them. Another thing from JW-N is "A writer writes!" - well duh... but it is easier said than done. I love talking about writing and story. A lot of stuff gets in the way of sitting down and writing but I have to try. And I have to break out of writing about myself all the time. UGH! That one is going to be so hard. Well I write for school and stuff but all my 'fun' writing is all about me, me, me. Some could be considered creative non-fiction but most is of course basic journaling. This writer's group is going to help me break out of that.

 

My husband and I spent some time together on Saturday and had a semi-relaxing day. We went out to eat and had to go grocery shopping because the refrigerator was getting bare. I really needed to stay home and concentrate on homework but I got a few things done in the evening. I can’t wait for a break.

 

Today I had a pretty good day at work despite oversleeping. Then I came home and made a list of important dates and all the projects I have to get done for the rest of the semester:

 

November 22 PowerPoint

November 30 individual project draft

December 2/9 Essay 4 due

December 2 Group presentation

December 7 Intake paper

December 10 Group project due

December 12 commencement 1:30pm

December 13 classes end*

December 14 Study Day*

December 16 Individual project due

 

December 16 Clinical Exam 4pm

December 21 Cognitive Exam 1pm

 

haha, I added little emoticons to indicate how I feel about the task. Oh crap, I forgot my birthday is in there somewhere!

 

I just love getting organized – if I could only stay that way! The list is definitely do-able but I have to stay on task. I have started most of the stuff and I am really happy that the group project has been going well and is 95% done. I love the ladies in my group.

 

Today I also had a little investigating to do which was very fruitful.  I always did want to be a private investigator, hehee. Now I just have to write my ass off so I can get some stuff done for school and relax in the evening because my favorite show, Dexter is on later.

This semester...

Now that I have got that out of my system, haha, I can write about myself and all the amazing things that have been happening this semester.

 

It has definitely been a challenge. I am working 17 credits. Whew! I should not have joined band (too much work) but I love rehearsal time - it is fun. My trombone playing improves slightly each semester. Not enough to keep up with the talented musicians in the band but still an improvement. We had our first concert about a month ago (it went well) and tonight is our second. I could use about another week of rehearsal, hehee. Then after this concert we get to play for Winter Graduation, and we are actually going to get paid this time. Bonus! The sad thing is I think this is my last semester in band because next I won't have time, and I certainly won't be able to play for graduation.

 

Cognitive psych - the teacher is a bad one. Comments on Ratemyprofessor.com are that he is a GPA destroyer. He bases your grade off 3 tests and 3 tests only. His tests are wordy and confusing. Some students think he plays mind games - I can see that. If I can get through it I will be happy. I like the book and I am learning lots but the professor sucks, and what's more he us the head of the department so he can get away with all his crap. This class is definitely not the highlight of my semester.

 

The highlight of my semester is my intro. to clinical psych class. I love Dr. Douglas! He is also who I am doing my internship class with and he is a wealth of knowledge and actually cares about his students. Here is one of his quotes from last nights class, "Culture is wherever you are at, at any given time." We also had a discussion about identity and how it limits a person to strongly identify with only one or two groups. I totally concur - just what I have always believed. Other words of wisdom - being a psychologist is a lonely occupation because no one wants to be friends with you because they are afraid you are analyzing them. Ha. I can take it, I am by nature an introvert. Dr. D is so intelligent, open minded and I am learning lots from him. Dr. D is so funny too - had the whole class dying laughing one day with his talk on sexuality - does it really matter what people like to do to each other sexually? Does it really matter what some people like to put in their mouth? He then admitted if he had a plate of Brussel sprouts and a penis in front of him and was told he had to put one in his mouth he would really have to think about it! It was hilarious.

 

I love my internship. I want to do more. I am learning a lot from Dr. D and the clients - especially about how much I don't know. Dr. D also supervises grad students so it is cool to listen to their case conceptualizations (they actually get to counsel people, I just get to sit in on therapy sessions although there are opportunities for me to participate). I also love hearing about all the other intern's experiences, we meet once a week to share. That is what makes me want to do more.

 

I am taking an advanced research and writing class in psych. I am in an awesome group and we are doing research on obesity, which is very informative. It is a difficult class and the next step is that I have to develop a research project on my own. Yikes! I foresee some crabby days ahead.

 

Last and least I took another english class and I wish I hadn't except I have met some awesome people. We have been getting together for lunch at the wonderful Churchills in Flint after class - that is 'bout the only good thing about this class. The writing assignments don't really interest me, at least not right now. Plus the prof is a man and I do not write well at all for men professors - they just aren't very nurturing. I need to learn how to nurture my own writing. I am working on it. I am finding that there is a lot of 'crap' I need to write about (my life experiences) before I can truly get creative and write for school (there is a big difference in writing personal stuff, writing for school assignment and also even between writing for English classes and writing for psych classes and it is really difficult to juggle and switch between it all) - at least for the English classes. Counseling has brought to light a few things from my past that I thought I had gotten over but I have not and I need to write it all out, in addition to that I need to write about more recent events also. UGH.

 

For English class I have to keep a blog so I decided to write about trying to lose weight. Well a classmate approached me after reading my blog and asked me if I wanted to work out together on a regular basis. Reluctantly I said yes. I didn't want to hurt her feelings and I did want to start working out. So we have been working out for about 6 weeks now and we have become friends. Yay! I actually love working out if I can just keep all the other stuff I have to do from making me anxious and worried about time. I love working out on the weight machines at school. We even tried racquetball, but we mostly laughed our asses off rather than hit the ball. I feel myself getting stronger and I have lost at least 8 pounds, perhaps more. I didn't weigh myself when I began.

 

Right now I am excited about a writing group my friend Jeanette and I are trying to get started. Jeanette is a classmate from a couple of semesters ago who is working on her second degree. She used to be an English professor at Mott. We have had some great conversations about writing and about life in general and she came up with the idea of forming a writers group. We met last week and I am getting all fired up about writing again. I have to make an effort to write at least 300 words a day. Well I probably do just for school but I need to find time to write for me also.

 

So it has been a busy semester. Interesting and exciting to say the least. I am going to miss school when it done. I never want to leave, ha. Of course I am looking forward to a break but I do want to keep writing and learning.

 

On the home front, my husband finally built me my bookcases and I am on my way to creating my little library and writing space. The bookcases turned out awesome and I am so proud of my husband for doing it. Lord knows I would have messed it all up.

 

I have a lot more books to add but just haven't had time to organize stuff.

 

*******

 

Today I just found out I am going to have a new baby neice soon. Wahoo. I am so excited about that! Someone to share my babies, barbies and girly storybooks with.

 

For your education...

Ha ha, I assumed a certain person would be checking out my blog today. Now that is funny.

 

Take a look at this:

 

Parental Alienation Syndrome

http://www.fact.on.ca/Info/pas/walsh99.htm

 

From Hostile Aggressive Parenting:

 

http://www.hostile-aggressive-parenting.com/what_is_Hostile_Aggressive_Parenting.asp

http://www.hostile-aggressive-parenting.com/#

 

Is this someone you know?

Does this person:

 

• badmouth a parent in front of the children and at every opportunity? 

• not answer the phone when the other parent calls? 

• convince the child that they should change their surname? 

• play on the children's feelings of guilt and sympathy? 

• use the child as a weapon against the other parent and family members? 

• order or manipulate the child to not answer the phone when it rings? 

• say that the child does not want to speak for to the other parent? 

• undermine the other parent by encouraging the child to defy the other parent 

 

So I have went through the list. The first two points have definitely happened and I would guess that it still goes on. The 3rd I wouldn't know about. The 4th point - oh yes, that is evident. The 5th, that again is a yes. The 6th yes, I believe so. There was also that one Halloween were the child was told to hide and not answer the door. Real nice. The last 2 points are iffy. And I am not talking on our side either for the people that like to pass the blame off. Everything that could have been done to protect the child on our end has been done. We know how to control ourselves.

 

The child is so afraid to hurt anyone's feelings or cause problems that he doesn't say much of anything about his own feelings. How do you think that is going to affect him in the long run? He doensn't trust, is afraid to feel or show them. It may not mean much to certain people because they have the depth of a puddle but it is not good.

 

This has been ongoing, over many, many years. It is not just one or two isolated incidents. How do you think that affects a child? How do you think that affects all involved?

 

 

That's funny...

So, hhmmmm. No visits yet this week? Not getting what you were looking for? Awwww.

 

I just want you to know what a wealth of information you have given me about the dark side of human nature - manipulation, the need to control people, jealousy, insecurity, the way a person can lie to get what they want and last but not least, hypocrisy. Wow, it must be amazing to be you and not have a conscience. I know you think I am jealous of you (now who could have told me that?) and I must admit that I am. I wish I could go around treating people as you do and get away with it - not feel a twinge of remorse, regret ... that something is not quite right with me and my pathological 'animosity'.

 

Oh no wait, forget it. I don't think I ever want to be that fucked up. I don't think, even with all my flaws and eccentricities, that I could be THAT fucked up.

 

But I also wanted to let you know, don't worry, I am working on the whole story. It is being recorded. Perhaps I won't blog about it but it will all come out eventually.

FU

Love this song (click link below) - so catchy. It about sums up my mood today. Working on some blogging and writing but of course school is taking up most of my time and energy. More to come soon and I have to think about transfering this blog to another cite. I hate to think about it though because I will be mad if it is harder to use my own backgrounds and stuff. All this for another day because I have cognitive psych to study for and that is a bitch!

 

 

http://www.youtube.com/verify_age?next_url=http%3A//www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DCAV0XrbEwNc

 

Words of advice for today...

Don't be a HATER., player. That's all I gotz to say right now <insert evil witch laugh here>

 

 

Ha, Silky Johnson, ole G........Old Biddy, "Indeed!?".......hahaha a classic - SHUT THE F*CK UP!!