All About School

Ok now it is time to catch up. I need to take a break and a little time for myself.

U of M – Flint is awesome! I love it. I can’t believe how much I love it. The campus is beautiful and the views of Flint from the campus are actually quite pretty. It is easy to get parking. I don't have to walk too far to get to my first class and once I am in that first building I don't have to go outside again until I leave for the day. All the buildings are connected by enclosed sky walks. That is nice - no getting rained on or freezing my ass off as I walk to class. Another great thing about UM Flint is, not only are there 3 computer labs, the whole campus is wireless so I can bring my laptop to campus with me and get on the internet from anywhere. And there are many comfortable places to sit and study.

I saw my friend Phil from Mott a few times on campus. He loves UM-Flint too. He said he doesn't feel like he is in high school anymore - the students are more mature on the UM campus than at Mott. I feel this too.

Even though I love UM Flint and I am thankful to be attending school there, I am still a little scared. I have 5 classes! 16 credits!! I originally only wanted 4 classes (that is considered a full load at 12/13 credits), but I signed on for 5 because I was waitlisted for one of my classes (a psych class I need) so I signed on for an extra class to make sure I would have a full load just in case I did not get into the psych class. Well I got into that class but I really wanted to keep the other class I signed on for too. It looked really interesting (it is a Theatre class) so I kept it. Now I have to struggle through this semester.

I arranged my classes so I only go 2 days a week. That is convenient and saves on gas. My first class of the day is college algebra – yuck. Not my favorite subject. This one is going to be difficult. The professor used to teach high school math in the community I live now, where my husband went to school. It would be pretty funny if my husband had him in high school. This professor seems nice enough but he is not organized. I miss my old math professor from Mott. She was super organized and made algebra seem easy, even though she made you feel like you were in grade school.

The second class I have is Elements of Literary Analysis. This is going to be fun (I think), but a ton of reading. This is the kind of class I have been waiting to take. We already had to read a book (Waiting for the Barbarians by J.M. Coetzee) and write a small paper about it. Luckily the book was only about 150 pages. The professor seems nice. She just moved here from Iowa and this is her first job as a college professor. She just received her doctorate. She is pretty funny. She says she likes the grittiness of Flint. She said “at least there is always something interesting on the radio, not just Celine Dion playing 24 hours a day.” She indicated that people seem more real out here. I guess in Iowa, at least the town she lived in, they were all ‘Stepford’ perfect people. Hahahaha I think I am really going to love this class. We get to discuss all forms of literature. We also have to write quite a few small papers. That sucks. I get a little frustrated with this class though. Sometimes, while we are discussing the literature, I can't get a word in.  The professor talks a lot (she will ask a question of us but then talk, talk, talk) and some of the other student’s observations are so, um … obvious or boring. There is this one girl in class that is so annoying too. I actually had her in a class at Mott. She talks a lot (just to hear herself talk) and interrupts people. She says she has ADD. She is just super annoying in my book. I know I am mean but deal with it.  The prof actually shut her down today. She asked this girl "You always have to be the first one to speak don't you?" Hahahaha.

Next is my lunch break. I have almost 2 hours between classes. That is nice. I walk on over to University Pavillion and get lunch and study. Last week, during lunchtime,  there was a party in the middle of campus.

http://www.mlive.com/flintjournal/index.ssf/2008/09/number_of_higher_education_stu.html

All the clubs were out in McKinnon Plaza trying to recruit new members. I got some free school supplies, a t-shirt, and there was free food too! That is one of the great things about UM Flint - there is always something going on, and there are usually freebies. Heck, the university gives you $16 on your campus ID card so you print out your notes and assignments in the computer lab. I like that.

 

After lunch I have the class Research Methods in Psychology. This is going to be a challenge. I like reading about research and experiments but I have never had the desire to conduct my own research. That is all this class is - learning about conducting research and experiments. It is a requirement; I have to take it to move on to the upper level psych classes. This is the class I am most worried about - we have to write 2 papers and the tests are all short answer essay question tests, not to mention the experiments we have to set up. Maybe I am worrying for nothing, things have been going OK so far. I actually had my first test for this class today and it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be but I will have to see how I did. I guess I am most worried about the papers I have to write. I have yet to write a psychology paper. SCARY! Again I find myself missing a Mott professor - I miss Dr. McCain. Oh my current professor is nice but she doesn't seem to have the charisma that Dr. McCain has.

 

The fourth class of the day is The Structure of English. This class is pretty much all about English grammar. It is a linguistics class. Parts of it are interesting but parts of it are boring too. I thought it would be a good idea for me to brush up on my grammar, to help me strengthen my writing and also my foriegn language skills (eventually). The professor is really interesting. She is from Holland. She has lived in the U.S. for about 14 years. She has a slight accent, which is very cute. It is also interesting to learn about English from someone who is not a native speaker. She has shared some great anecdotes/experiences with us. She is a linguist and she challenges us to think about language(s) is a new way, a more open minded way. She told us about how a word, the sound of a word puts an image into our head that may not have the same meaning/image for someone else, for example... a bad word in our language, the word cunt, actually conjurs up a beautiful image for her. Where she is, in her native language (German I think) from the word kant (pronounced cunt) actually means lace.

 

My last class of the day is a theatre class, Drama as Performance. Most of the students in this class are theatre majors and are very fun. I so want to get involved in theatre at U of M - Flint. I just don't think I have the time. I may have to make the time because I am actually contemplating a double major - Psych and Theatre. This class is much like the Literary Analysis class - we are reading plays and analyzing them. Some of the material in this class is the same as in the Literary Analysis class so that is a plus. There is a lot of reading for this class as well as quite a few papers (mostly smaller 2 page papers though). We already had a paper due, which I got an A on. Woohoo! Now another paper is due this Wednesday.

 

So that is a summary of my school day and that has been my all that has been going on in my life lately. Busy, busy - between school, trying to work (even just part time), driving my husband and stepson (the boys, hahaha) around, (My stepson is very busy lately with marching band; practices; Friday night football games; and now competitions every Saturday) and trying to feel better (yes, I am still sick and tired - exhausted really). This is all I have time for.

 

Other things of interest (to me anyway) are:

 

Today at school I checked out the library. It is pretty nice. Three huge floors of books, periodicals, reference materials, and computers. There are beautiful views of the campus and the Flint River from the library. 

 

 I also toured the Recreation Center. The Rec center has everything you can think of - pool, indoor running/walking track, cardio room, weights, exercise machines, raquetball, indoor tennis, volleyball, basketball courts, etc. AWESOME!! I am going to go and work out - it is free for students so I have to take advantage of that.

 

And finally, there is a lady in my psych class who is in the symphony band. I was pleased to find out there is a symphony band at UM - Flint. I miss playing the trombone - miss being in band. Heck, you know I miss performing.  She said they will take anybody. I want to join so bad but I already have a class when the band meets. So I am definitely joining soon as my schedule permits. Now I can't wait until next semester.

 

First 2 pics (below) are from the New Student Convocation, where the University welcomed all the new students before the beginning of the semsester. That was lovely.

Talking about Handcrafting the past - SlideShow - MSN Real Estate - 1

Love the idea of re-creating old style homes. I hate McMansions (they look cheap and/or pretentious) and I am not all that fond of ranch style homes (although I have one).  I wish I could afford one of these homes in the slide show. Maybe some day....

Here is the article all about it ( http://realestate.msn.com/Buying/Article_wsj_inline.aspx?cp-documentid=9531187&GT1=35000 ) and check out the slideshow.

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Handcrafting the past - SlideShow - MSN Real Estate - 1

 

Catch Up

I have to catch up my blog on all that I have been up to lately, hehehe; and I never did write about my vacation. I am still feeling pretty yucky a lot of the time lately so I haven't been writing. I am sick but I am not sure what is wrong with me. I have been back and forth to my Dr's but he can't find out what is wrong with me. I think it is time to find another Dr. When I went to the Dr's this past Monday I showed some weight loss - 10 pounds since the end of June - I am not trying to lose weight. I haven't been exercising and have been eating McDonalds! Well, I don't have much of an appetite, which is soo not me. I weighed myself again this morning and it seems I have lost even more weight since Monday. The scale shows a 6 pound weight loss but it maybe my scale is off. Even so, if I lost 2 to 3 pounds since Monday - that is a little alarming.

 

I want to write about my vacation and up north. I will have to get back to that, maybe tomorrow. I also started classes at University of Michigan - Flint. I am super excited about that! My husband said he is excited for me. Isn't that sweet? My first day was great. I love the campus and my classes and teachers seem interesting. It is going to be a lot of work. I keep thinking or praying, if this can be considered a prayer, "Please God, don't let me fuck up!" I will definitely write more soon. I have pictures of the campus to post too.

Sad to be back from vacation....

I went on a short vacation and now I am back. It really was too short - I wish we were still up north. I love Michigan. I love the Great Lakes. I had to share this beautiful picture I took before I went to bed. This is the Platte River with Lake Michigan and Sleeping Bear Dunes beyond. Love it! Wanna' live up there!

 

I will share more later.

 

 

Baby Fever

OMG! I think I am getting baby fever. Well maybe it is only fleeting. I just feel like I am running out of time if I want to have kids of my own. I have been on the fence about it for a long time. I know I will regret it if I don't have a child but it is also nice not to have that responsibility. Most of the time it is just me and my husband and that is always nice - we can do what we want. hahaha  

 

I have never been a baby person, although I love baby dolls. Babies are cute but I have never been one to go crazy over them. I like kids when they are a little older - ok toddlers are cute and fun. They crack me up but I always have been able to leave them with their parents when I was tired, haha. I was reading on this chat board I visit every onec and a while (check it out - it is all about blended families for any steps out there http://www.thenestbaby.com/stages/stage.aspx?stage=months612&ForumID=428) about all the mothers trying to concieve and I am starting to feel like I want that too. Yikes! My cute little smiley nephew is getting to me!! The little ham.

 

I guess I have always felt two ways about the subject of having kids. There are plenty of people in this world, do I really need to add to it? I have always felt that if I had a kid it would be more to please my parents than for myself. They would like to have a granddaughter. I would like to have a daughter too. But I am independent and need a lot of time to myself - how does a kid fit into that? It is so nice to be able to go when I want and not have to worry about a babysitter. Yes I have a stepson but he has never been my responsibility in that way. I came into his life when he was 5. Sure I watched him at times but most of the time his Dad has been around. It's like that when you only have every other week-end with the kid. My stepson has never been a burden so to speak - never hindered me from doing the things I want/need to do. If I had a baby I know that would change, I would have to give up a lot of free time. I know it would be worth it but I am not sure if I am up for it. I would need to have a support group in place, LOL. And like I said, I know I will regret it if I don't have a child of my own. I have always wanted a daughter - heck I saved all my dolls, barbies and books for her! I have always wanted to be a grandmother too. Motherhood has not always been the best thing to me - too much heartache; being a grandma seems like it is more fun, haha.

 

Even my body is telling me I need to get to it, or it is my mind messing with me. I had a dream a few nights ago that my eggs were bad, LOL!!! In the dream I opened a dresser drawer (top drawer) and in there was a flat of eggs. I said to myself "Now why did I put these in here? They are all spoiled now!" I am so silly - I meant to put them away and forgot about them. Uh oh!" Isn't that a crazy dream? I know though, that if I want to have a baby I need to get healthy and lose some weight. I would be in bad shape if I tried to have a baby now, and I would get as big a house - yikes! Just another reason to haunt my doctor.

 

 

Me and my favorite baby a long time ago. I still have her. I am not doing the peepee dance in this photo, I was trying to pull my shorts down before Grandpa snapped the photo.

Baby Brent 'hamming' it up

Here is my little nephew playing for the camera.... he is so cute and funny. He was cracking me up yesterday. It was my Mom's birthday. Can't seem to get away from birthdays.

 

 

more pics in the Family Album

Talking about Inside the Human Body - - 15MSN Health & Fitness - Health Topics

Pretty cool slide show about the human body. I love this kind of stuff. It reminds me of the body exhibits. My husband and I went to the "Bodyworlds" ( http://www.bodyworlds.com/en/exhibitions/current_exhibitions.html ) exhibit in Chicago and also a similiar exhibit in Detroit. This slide show is very good.

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Inside the Human Body - - 15MSN Health & Fitness - Health Topics

UGH! Been feeling pretty crappy lately

I have to vent. I am up late tonight because I am not feeling well at all. I actually had to call off from work, which makes me mad. I have not felt good for over a month now. I don't really want to talk about my symptoms at this point. I did go see the Dr when it all started but I have not improved. I was supposed to go back last week but I put it off because I hate going. I will need to see the Dr this week. I have been so tired, my allergies are acting up bigtime, and I am wheezing which is not good for sleep (specially when I am already anxious because I feel like crap). I am just so sick of it! I need to get better because school starts in less than a month and I need to be in top form. I have also been crabby lately and I have not felt like myself. I hate it. UGH!

 

I am just ready to attack all my health problems. I have chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia, and depression. I also have allergy problems. I think what I have going on now is all part of the chronic fatigue thing - my immune system is not what it should be. I also am overweight, I am the heaviest I have ever been in my life. I have learned to deal with the depression. The fibromyalgia doesn't bother me that much anymore. It is the damn CFS and allergies that are bringing me down. Yeah so when I am really, really tired all the time, the depression starts bothering me. I also need to attack my weight problem too. I know I will feel a little better if I were lighter - it is not the cure all though. I want to concentrate on fighting the CFS and my allergies. If I start feeling better, more energized, then I can battle the weight problem. I just don't know what can be done about CFS - there is no medication that will make me feel less tired all the time. I tried taking vitamins but they do not help that much.

 

I wish there were some miracle drug or supplement. I am sick of being exhausted. I can't live my life on will power all the time. I really have to push myself to do anything because I only have a few good hours a day. And by few I mean very few - like 3. So I constantly have to juggle what I am going to do in my good hours - how am I going to expend that little bit of energy that I have. If I have to work then forget about it, I have no choice in the matter. The energy is expended at work. The rest of the time I am running on shear will power - that is me pushing me to get shit done. I don't always succeed. Plus, if I push too hard in one day, you better believe I pay for it the next day. That pisses me off because there is so much I want to do. So much I have to do. I am sick of feeling this way. Sick of battling. What pisses me off even more is that very few people understand how it feels to be like this. They think you are lazy, or crazy, making stuff up, or just don't deal with being tired very well. NO, CFS is a debillitating illness. I know the difference between being just normally tired and being CFS exhausted. There is a difference. It sucks to have to explain this to people all the time. I just want to feel better - I want to have the energy that a regular person has. I envy those people that say they only need 5 hours of sleep a night and they are fine (I don't really believe them though). Oh yes, and this is not a weight thing. I was not fat when I was diagnosed with CFS and I felt just as bad, in fact worse because my fibromyalgia was at it's worst then (I felt like an arthritic old lady - like I should be hunched over a cane with curled hands - and yes it was that bad!).

 

So I need to attack these health problems of mine. I need to get my butt to the Dr's with my list of complaints and really stay on him until I feel better. I am sick of this!!

 

For more info on Chronic Fatigue Syndrome:

 

http://www.cdc.gov/cfs/cfssymptomsHCP.htm

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M.E#Treatment

Saginaw Zoo and yet another birthday party!!

Yesterday, my parents, my brother and his woman, her mom (Grandma Tammy) and my 3 nephews went to the Saginaw Children's Zoo. It was actually little Alex's 2nd birthday,  so we went to celebrate that. It was nice, and we all had a good time. Well, I don't think Alex was feeling his best yesterday but he had some fun. The Saginaw Children's Zoo is a nice little park. They don't have a lot of exotic animals but the flowers were great. There is also a carosel and a little train there. My older nephew, Lil Kenny, was going nuts over the train, "When we going to ride on the train?" He loved that. I should take him to Greenfield village.

 

The grandmas packed a lunch, so after an afternoon at the zoo we all sat in the picnic area and had lunch. That was really relaxing. It was nice to hang out with both my parents - Daddy wasn't working for a change. I had forgotten how nice a picnic can be, hehe. Again it was making me want everyone to go to one of my favorite places, Greenfield Village, and have a picnic. Check out my pics I uploaded. While we were eating lunch, the zoo's 2 peacocks came over by us and I got some really pretty pics of the pretty peacocks.

 

Soon as I got home from the zoo, I had to hurry up and run over to my sis-in-law's house for yet another birthday party. OK all these kids need to quit having birthdays! Quit growing up, dang it!! My sis's kids, Robbie and Ryan, were both born in July too. That is 4 nephews with July birthdays. Craziness! I took a few pics there too, check 'em out in my albums.

 

It was a fun day yesterday but it wore me out. Today I am exhausted.

 

Queen Anne's Lace

 

Love this weed! Check out the album I made of my nephew's 2nd birthday party. All kinds of fun with the kiddies.

Health Care, Health insurance

Here are 2 great articles about the state of the United States health care system. Health care in America, to me,  illustrates just how much we are becoming a country of 'Haves' and "Have Nots' and it is just sad and ridiculous.

 

http://blog.mlive.com/chronicle/2008/07/uninsured_patients_financially.html

 

http://www.slate.com/id/2195851/

 

From the first article:

 

"America spends more money on health care than any nation in the world, even outspending countries that provide universal health care to all residents. The U.S. spent $2.3 trillion on health care in 2007, but 47 million Americans had no health insurance and the nation's overall health status lagged behind many other countries, according to the National Coalition on Health Care."

 

That is just f---ing sad. The United States (we) spends all this money on health care and not all people are covered/have access to health care. How crazy is that? We all think/know doctors make a lot of money but I contend the real money makers in health care are the insurance companies. Every year what they cover gets less, so the people that have coverage are feeling the pinch. The poor people that don't have coverage, the really feel the pinch,  have to pay more and more because health care costs keep rising due to hospitals and Dr's having to make up for their losses, which in turn is due to greedy insurance companies wanting more and more discounts and covering less and less in health care. It is a vicious cycle. It needs to change because the way the economy and the job market is, we are going to have more and more people in America suffering without health insurance.

 

Also from the first article:

 

"The system is totally broken for the working poor," said Zyniewicz, chief medical officer at Emergency Health Partners, which runs the ER at Mercy Health Partners' Mercy Campus. "The uninsured get charged the full cost of health care, while people with insurance are charged less."

Hospitals and clinics often charge insurance companies less for medical services because insurers insist on paying discounted rates. Health-care providers cannot offer the same discounts to uninsured patients because it would be considered insurance fraud, according to several local doctors.

 

This is just ridiculous! When are American's and American politicians going to wake up? Something needs to be done about this. Put politics aside, put all talk about big government aside, and start working on a solution to this problem - whether it be a Universal Health plan/system, or just a complete over haul (with tough regulations) of our current health care system. We need to quit listening to insurance companies telling us that universal coverage won't work - they are just trying to scare us because they want to keep the gravy train rolling. People are suffering needlessly, people's lives are at stake. We have the money and resources - let's do something about this problem already! If you read the articles you will truly see what a joke and embarrasment our health care system has become.

 

Great Quote

"The writer, when he is also an artist, is someone who admits what others don't dare reveal." Elia Kazan

I like that quote. It is so true too. To really be a great writer you have to go to the depths of your soul and pull stuff up that most people don't think about, can't handle and would never admit. Psychology is like that also. I often times think I reveal too much in these blogs but in truth I am holding back. I would really like to cut lose and just write, write, write but I don't have the time and energy right now. I guess I am not brave enough either. I guess some subjects aren't fit for a blog. Well I will explore this idea as I go along. Write what I feel for that day. There are plenty of topics, that is for sure.

I could keep a diary but I am such an attention whore - I like to have an audience, or at least feel I have an audience. Who knows if anyone ever reads my blog.  Yeah, who knows who reads your blogs - it could be anybody.  It could be someone trying to cause you trouble (or someone who is curious and/or nosy - that would be my kind of person) so I guess you should never reveal more than you want to deal with. I like lead my life like an open book. I try not to keep too many secrets (like everyone I have at least one or two) or tell lies so I don't have to go around scared about how people may see me or find out about me.

Stepmother issues...

 I have a very good friend - I will call her Pat. Lately she has been annoyed by her son’s stepmother – I’ll call the son Jon and the stepmom, Dee. Jon recently graduated high school and joined the armed forces. Well my friend Pat is annoyed with a lot of her family and also her son’s father and stepmother. Especially with them because Pat says that they always talked down about Jon’s idea of enlisting, saying that he could/would never do it, can’t handle it, etc. Now it seems to her that they are jumping on his band wagon, acting like they have been supportive all along. I told her that as far as that goes, Jon knows who has been behind him and who has not supported him all along, right?

 

Well she is really annoyed with the stepmom, Dee because she is always talking about how proud she is of ‘her’ son and goes on and on about how he joined the armed services. Pat says Jon does not even like his stepmom (that made me kind of sad). I guess Dee has put a lot of crap on her myspace about she is a proud soldier mom and even wrote a blog about that kind of stuff. Yeah, that would annoy me too. Even though I am a stepmom, I think you should be careful about claiming another woman’s child as yours. I do think that Dee crossed the line at putting all that kind of stuff up on her myspace. I guess I feel that, even if she considers Jon as her own and is very proud of him, out of respect for Pat she should tone it down a bit. Another thing that bugged me about Dee is I guess she told Pat one time that she should get Jon and his sister on Mother’s Day sometimes because she was their mother too. When Pat told me that I was like, “UM, NO! You are the mother and your kids should be with you on Mother’s Day, at least until they are 18 or so. Dee needs to back off and realize that and respect that.” I mean, geez, the nerve of her. I would never expect my stepson to spend Mother’s Day with me. He should be with his mother. Sure it is nice to be recognized on that day for your efforts as a stepmom but I don’t think it should be expected or seen as an absolute right. Well I basically told Pat not to sweat it – stop going over and looking at Dee’s myspace if it bugs her that much. Pat knows the truth and Jon knows the truth so why should all this nonsense bother her?

 

This is kind of a conflict for me, to tell the truth. I can see both sides. In my opinion, and this may be a little harsh, Pat as a woman who left her husband (he was abusive) and kids (she didn’t want to uproot them from their home and school) for another man, should been prepared for the possibility that there would be another woman, another mother figure in her kid’s lives. It is hard, I know. Especially when all parties involved can’t get along with each other. (Well to me it seems they get along better than most – I guess that took some time though. Both sets of parents did co-host Jon’s graduation party. That one intrigued me, after listening to all the bad stuff that has gone on between the Pat and her ex-husband.) But like I said in the above paragraph, stepmoms should be careful about claiming their stepkids as their own. That too is hard, because you don’t want your stepkid to feel unloved or not part of the family. I suggested that to Pat, that maybe Dee claimed Jon as her own because she was just used to trying to make him feel like part of the family- that she doesn’t distinguish between her own son and her husband’s (Pat’s) kids. Pat wasn’t having it. What more can be done? Pat is not an insecure person so I all I can do is tell her that as long as she and Jon and all those that care about her know what is up – know the truth, then that is all that matters. I mean Jon has already told his mother that he does not even really like his stepmom (I kind of feel bad for Dee but she has done her share of mean things to Pat). Let the stepmom make a fool of herself over a kid that could really care less about her.

 

Another thing, how likely is it that Dee is just putting stuff all over her Myspace to A)make herself look good, or B)is insecure about her relationship with Jon and wants to try to get closer to her stepson, or C) knows that what she has on her myspace really bugs Pat so she goes overboard with it, just to push Pat's buttons (there are people like that)? I told Pat that Dee may just be trying to annoy her. Pat is thinking about that one, but overall she is just annoyed. I guess I did all I could do - just lend an ear and offer my perspective.

 

Oh boy, this is a topic near and dear to my heart. I have a lot to say about being a stepmother, as well as a lot to learn about the topic and how we all cope – both parents and stepparents – within blended families.

 

Step-parenting is a subject that has many sides and viewpoints, many, many stories and experiences. It is safe to say it is a complex topic with many different issues and sides. I have made kind of a study of the topic since I am a stepmother and I plan on going into psychology and will more than likely have to deal with these issues quite a bit. I will have to do more writing on this.

 

 

Pictures

I am starting to go through all my pictures I have laying around the house. I need to put them in albums and frame some too. I also want to scan them and put them on discs. I want to get organized, bigtime! So while I was doing my pics I thought I should organize my husband's pictures too. I was looking around for them and could not find them. Come to find out he had stuck them in the garage rafters! Yikes! Not a good place for pictures - it gets extremely hot and then extremely cold in there. The pics could have been ruined. I rescued them though, thank goodness. There were old pictures of his parents (both are deceased now) in there as well as his son's baby book. Men are such dorks about stuff like that. Of course I have pictures everywhere (a lot of which were taken before I had a digital camera - need to presereve those), which may get lost, etc. So I guess we are both pretty bad.  AND I still haven't ordered any wedding pics! I need to get to it. Our walls are looking bare.

 

So that is what I have been doing lately. Trying to get everything organized. I have a lot of work to do.

More about liars....

I was watching the news program,"Primetime: Family Secrets" last night (I had also seen another show about this guy) about Neil Entwhistle, the guy who was concvicted of killing his wife and baby daughter in Massachusettes. It is just horrible. In my opinion, it boils down to him being ashamed of who he was and being a liar. He couldn't accept who he was, what he could achieve and not achieve at that point in his life so he lied to make himself into what he thought was a better person. He lied about his finances, bought a big house for his wife and baby and then all his lies began to crash down around him. Entwhistle could not admit to his wife that he did not have any money and that his finances had been a lie so he killed her and his baby. Craziness. It is a definite case of lies and liar going out of control and ruining the lives of people around him, all because the liar was not strong enough to accept themselves for who they were, was not strong enough to make a better life through honest means (and I am talking emotionally, psychologically here). He also shows a lack of conscience. There are too many people like this guy out there, although many do not go so far as murder, their lies do affect people and relationships. SCARY!

Liars Perplex Me

Why are some people such liars? Why are they afraid of the truth? Is the truth so awful or their life so awful that to lie about things is better for them to stomach? Doesn't their conscience bother them? I know people lie to get away with stuff or to not hurt someone elses feelings but some people lie about anything and everything for no good reason. Well I guess they think it makes them look better, or they are trying to hide who they really are. I can't help to think that it ultimately hurts them inside and may hurt the people they love. Also, most of the time the people they are trying to fool the most are on to them, or they have already broken their trust.

 

I am not saying that I have never told a lie. I am not saying that it is always better to tell the truth (most of the time I believe it is). I can see telling a lie if you want to spare someone's feelings, but to tell lie after lie about little things or big things, or to try to hurt someone with a lie is plain wrong. It shows a decided lack of maturity in an adult and may point to a lack of conscience too. Truly, an adult that consistently lies is a messed up person. I wish they could/would put all that energy used to tell lies into becoming a better person.

 

So all that being said, yes, I am perplexed by liars. I wonder what can be done to help adults that lie, lie, lie? What treatment is best? Throw their lies up in their face? Point out every known instance of a lie and ask them why? Point out their good qualities and have them focus on that, or help them develop some good qualities? Hhhmmmmmm.

 

I also wonder about how the people around a liar are affected? What if the liar is a parent - how does it affect the kids? Do the kids learn to see lying as proper behavior? Do they grow up to be liars themselves?

 

Misc. Stuff I have been thinking about...

Check out the pictures of my nephews I put up. Aren't they cute? It was my youngest newphews 1st birthday Saturday, but we celebrated it on Sunday. I got some awesome pics of the kids playing. The tall, skinny kid is my stepson. My 2 oldest newphews really look up to him. I was proud of my stepson Sunday because he played so well with the little ones (well the 2 oldest, they are 2 and 4). He played balloons and pushed them around in their little cars. I appreciate that and I know the kids love it. I know he would have rather been hanging out with his cousin. I think he ended up having some fun.

 

 

Skinny Boy

 

My stepson is so tall and skinny. We feed him, we really do! Some family members accuse us and/or his mother of not feeding him. I tell them that we feed him and I am sure his mother does too. I am always asking him if he ate or if he got enough to eat. He eats - he can really throw down. Lately we have to tell him to slow down while he is eating.

 

My husband and I were shopping for pants for him last week. We couldn't find his size at all. All the pants were too big in the waist or too short. We finally had to get pants a size bigger in the waist and a size smaller length wise than what he had asked for. Luckily the pants fit. I am sure he will grow out of them very soon. I told my stepson "Damn, I wish I would grow - taller ... not fatter. You know, this way not that way." We were laughing.

 

 

Work

 

Monday ended up being a good day at work. The day went by fast, hahaha.  There was a new guy Monday. I got to talking to him. His name is Robert and he is going to school for Psychology too. He went to Mott and had Dr. McCain for a professor. She is our favorite prof. He is going to Rochester College now, which is at Mott. He still gets to see Dr. McCain. I almost wish I would have chosen Rochester College too. The new guy told me "I was hoping I would meet someone who is in school for psych" so he did and now we are happy to be friends. We can exchange ideas and job/opportunity info. He has a Myspace. I love his space - he has nice pics. I already emailed him with some info I had, and he emailed me back. He said if I don't do psychology I could be a photographer. I love compliments!

 

Robert was recently laid off from his job as an intake worker for drug rehabillitation/working with the courts. He was lucky enough to be working in the field already but his old company was under bid for the contract of the work he was doing. So now he is stuck at McD's until somthing better comes along. Robert told me it was hard putting on the McD uniform that morning, but he is thankful to have a job. I know how he feels. He has 3 kids and just bought a new house too.  I am scared and sad for him. I hope he can find something else. I hope I can find something else. I have a few prospects but I still have not started to job search in earnest yet. I think I may just look for a part time waitressing job because school is going to start soon. I don't really want to work full time and either try to struggle through school (FT or part time) or put it off for 6 months to a year. Only if the two really good full time jobs I applied for pan out. Then I might be tempted. I will have to see what happens within the next month.

 

I drove a co-worker, Sara, home after work. She is a really sweet girl. She is 19, I think, and has one son. She dropped out of school and does not even have her drivers license yet. She has just been busy with her son and trying to work. She lives with her boyfriend and his family just around the block from me. I told her she should definitely get her GED and go on to college. I hope she does. On our way home, we were talking about the new guy and college. She says she wants to go to college and help/counsel young kids. I hope she chases that dream. It makes me sad to see/hear about  people dropping out of highschool. It is like you need a college degree to do anything anymore.

 

So I drove around my block when I took Sara home. I have never been around the block!  It is a farm block (not sure of the proper term) so it is 4 miles. I was thinking I should start walking around the block everyday. It looks like a pretty walk and I might lose some weight. I need to get in shape for that 17 mile hike and I would like to try to do the bridge walk this Labor Day too. I will have to start. Better get to it.

 

http://www.mackinacbridge.org/annual-bridge-walk-7/

Sleeping Bear Sand Dunes

A friend gave me kudos over on Mspace for hiking 7 miles. She recently went to Sleeping Bear Sand Dunes and had trouble getting up the first huge hill. It reminded me of another hike I took long ago. I wish I had pics to share but I don't have them scanned into my computer and my scanner is acting crazy right now.

 

Almost 10 years ago, when my husband and I first started dating, we went to Sleeping Bear. My Stepson was 5. It was hard for me to get up the first hill but I made it. It was easy for the youngster and he had a blast, of course. Well, we decide to take the dune hike to Lake Michigan. That was a big mistake. It was only supposed to be something like a mile and a half - we thought we could do it, no problem. Um, no. It was 1 and a half miles of walking up and down sandy hills (Duh! Dunes, hahaha). We ran out of water real quick. Half the the trail markers were missing or buried. Halway to the lake we could hear the waves crashing, so we kept thinking we were close - just have to get over the next hill. NO, hills came and went and no Lake. Finally we made it. Finally. We were so thirsty we drank the Lake water. Then we noticed storm clouds over the Lake. Uh oh, better get back. Halway back, we were sorta lost and being pelted by hard rain -not to mention being scared by the lightning and loud, crashing thunder. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention the sand getting getting in our eyes and stinging our skin from the wind the storm whipped up. My poor stepson had had enough; he was like "Carry me!" We were like "Who's going carry us?" hahahaha. But we made it back and lived to tell the tale. That was the last time I climbed the first big hill. We have been back since, but I am content to watch the kids climb it and roll down.

 

Click on the link for more info about Sleeping Bear. (beautiful pics)

http://www.sleepingbeardunes.com/