Wow...

"I hate flowers - I paint them because they're cheaper than models and they don't move." Georgia O'Keeffe

 

I can't believe that Georgia O'Keeffe hated flowers. She did such a good job of painting flowers. It would seem weird to me to put all that time, effort, and creativity into painting something you hate.

 

I love taking photographs of flowers. I took some recently (the last roses of summer ) and I got really excited. I asked my husband "I wonder if you can make any money photographing flowers?" Haha. I guess I'm a nerd. But look at this .....

 

 

Isn't this rose beautiful? I could stare at these pics for a long time. I love the color of the rose. Look at the shadows the petals cast, the layering,  and the texture of the flower. Magnificent.

 

Here is another lovely rose- one of the last in my yard for this season.

 

This cracks me up...

OK, call me immature but this makes me laugh so hard I cry...

 

 

   

I love Dave Chapelle and Charlie Murphy is hilarious too. I love his "True Hollywood Stories" on Dave's show (stories about when he hung out with his brother Eddie back in the 80s). I love the expression on his face - he seems so innocent and hokie, "What?" LOL - or is it gullable yet puzzled?

Thank Goodness!!

I am so happy right now - today I got my close reading paper back for Literary Analysis (finally!) and I got an A. The professor wrote on it "wonderful" and "Great close reading!" YES!! It perked me right up when I got it. I needed that too because I have 3 stinkin' tests on Wednesday and I needed a kick in the pants to get me going.

I am still waiting to get my poetry analysis back from that prof though. I can't wait anymore, I don't think I did so hot on it. I think my paper is fine but I don't think the professor will like it.

 

I also got an A on my second Theatre/Drama paper. I am happy about that but papers for that class are easier to write because they are opinion papers whereas the  Literary Analysis papers have been on form - I have to keep my opinions to myself.  That is difficult for me - LOL.

 

I am going to post my paper in my blog because I am proud of it and it is an interesting passage from the book - I think it is amusing.

 

From the book:

Waiting for the Barbarians

By J.M. Coetzee

 

Page 45

“Sometimes my sex seemed to me another being entirely, a stupid animal living parasitically upon me, swelling and dwindling according to autonomous appetites, anchored to my flesh with claws I could not detach. Why do I have to carry you about from woman to woman, I asked: simply because you were born without legs? Would it make any difference to you if you were rooted in a cat or a dog instead of me?”

 

---

This passage illustrates the Magistrate’s growing disenchantment with himself and his sexual behavior. The Magistrate is beginning to see himself as an unwilling participant in his life, pulled along by desires and expectations out of his control, whether it is through his own body or through the Empire. In fact, the author J.M. Coetzee is using the Magistrate’s penis to symbolically represent the Empire.

The magistrates disenchantment with his penis, thus with the Empire, is represented throughout the whole passage but is best illustrated through this line, “Sometimes my sex seemed to me another being entirely, a stupid animal living parasitically upon me, swelling and dwindling according to autonomous appetites, anchored to my flesh with claws I could not detach.” Overall, Coetzee wants the reader to feel that the Magistrate is controlled by a faceless entity or idea. 

First, the Magistrate refers to his penis as “my sex” which depersonalizes it. Coetzee chose this phrase to make the magistrate’s penis seem unimportant, a mere biological designation. Then he goes on to give the penis a sort of personification through the use of the word being, likening it to a stupid animal. Coetzee wants the reader to think of the penis as not part of the Magistrate – he wants the reader to picture the penis (or ‘being’) as a mere biological functioning entity with no intelligence other than that of survival (a stupid animal). The words stupid and animal are used here to show that the penis did not have the intelligence of a human. Not only is the penis a stupid animal, it is a parasite. It derives its nourishment and mobility from the host – which is the Magistrate.

The penis is in control of the Magistrate through its “swelling and dwindling”. Swelling refers to an erection - the penis swells when it wants to ‘feed’; dwindling refers to the penis when it is flaccid, or sated. The Magistrate is powerless against this routine; he does not have control over it and does not understand why it occurs. Indeed the next words in the sentence gives evidence to this for the penis is “swelling and dwindling according to autonomous appetites”. Coetzee chose the word autonomous to illustrate the Magistrate’s belief that the penis has freedom and a will of its own. It also has an appetite - it hungers or desires for things the magistrate does not. Coetzee is trying to dissociate the Magistrate from the desires of his penis and to illustrate his feeling of being controlled by this thing that is “anchored to (his) my flesh with claws I could not detach.” The words anchor and claws brings about the feeling of pain in relationship to the word flesh. Also, the word anchor evokes the feeling of weight or heaviness and permanence in which the Magistrate cannot be separated from. Coetzee uses claws to continue with the whole animalistic being theme.

 In the last part of the passage, the Magistrate begins to have an internal dialogue with himself or between himself and his penis. He asks rhetorical questions of his penis, such as, “Why do I have to carry you about from woman to woman, I asked: simply because you were born without legs? Would it make any difference to you if you were rooted in a cat or a dog instead of me?” This sentence as a whole, with the reference to “a cat or a dog” (this also calls to mind that whole stupid animal theme again) makes the reader question the Magistrates importance in the scheme of things. He is just a host, anyone or anything else will do. The word carry is used to make the Magistrate just a passive assistant, the “legs” of this parasite, his penis, moving it from place to place, meal to meal, conquest to conquest – “from woman to woman”. Coetzee uses the word rooted in the last sentence to suggest just how much the penis (the Empire) is a part of the Magistrate. Rooted means to have put down roots, to be firmly implanted or embedded into an organ or structure.

            This passage occurs early on it the book. Winter has set in, Colonel Joll has left and the Magistrate realizes he cannot, or does not want to have sex with the blind girl. At first read, this passage might not seem that important in relationship to the text as whole; possibly just a few amusing sentences. But with further analysis into it, especially in relationship to what had just happened – the Magistrate’s inability to have sex with the blind girl; it becomes clear that Coetzee wants this passage to show that the Magistrate is starting to question his behavior, his desires, and his own autonomy in relationship to these.

 

---

Here is a llink to info about the book (plot synopsis). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waiting_for_the_Barbarians

  

 

I have never written the word 'penis' so many times in my life LOL! I feel like Dr Ruth Westheimer.

 

Am I a whole person?

Am I a whole person? Today I am feeling so scattered... so shattered that I do not feel whole. I feel like I need to pick up the pieces of myself and try to integrate them into one whole person. It is school that does this to me. Analyzing literature, to be more specific. It makes me think of things within me that I had long forgotten and buried. I get angry that I had buried this part of myself... this artsy, creative part. I get angry because I don't know how to express this. I don't think I have the energy or the time or maybe not even the talent and tools. Why do I doubt myself? I do obviously - I buried this part. OK, maybe I didn't bury it completely but I continously try to push it away, hide it for some unknown reason. Am I afraid? I know I get so angry about this but then I push it back down again. This drives me crazy.

 

This is why people should go to college when they are young! More time to deal with stuff and nonsense like this. Also younger people can get away with the self-centeredness it takes to work through this stuff (stuff just about encompasses what I am feeling right now!).

Interesting to see what people have to say about the financial mess...

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26903309

 

Some of the people are so informed. I envy them. As much as I abhor politics, I want to know what brought us to this financial mess we are in now. I have an idea, I have suspicions, but I want to know definitively how America got to this present crisis. Argh, I am afraid I don't have enough time in the day to understand all this. All I know is this is BS and I am pissed off. Where is the accountability for this crisis? Why aren't the bank CEO's being arrested and their assets seized? What about the accountability of politicians who have profited from (and will still profit from) this mess? Yeah, we get a measly stimulus package and then have to bailout the BANKS?? What?? NICE.  I guess I have been sticking my head in the sand, so to speak. But what can I do? I think this is the trouble with most Americans - we feel helpless.

 

Yeah, and wasn't it Bush a few months ago (not even that long ago) saying that we are not in a recession - the economy is strong? Now he comes to us, hat in hand, asking 'please pass this bailout. Please, o please! If you do it will stimulate the economy (or avert a recession/depression) and the banks will be able to loan out more money and everything will stabalize' Yeah right! So the banks get bailed out, we foot the bill, and we get to borrow money again. WOW, gee thanks. Wasn't that what got us into this mess in the first place? We are borrowing too much money we cannot expect to pay back because our economic system is being eroded (our good paying jobs are being lost - either being sent overseas or downsized) by CEO's greed, by the very industries that need to be bailed out. This is the hypocrisy I was talking about in my other blogs.

 

OK, done ranting for now.

You're so vain, you probably think this blog is about you...

It has been brought to my attention by a close friend, and reader of my blog, that someone in our mutual aquaintance thinks (or may think) that my "Hypocrites" blog was about them. Well if the shoe fits wear it, LOL, but the blog was not about anyone in particular (so get over yourself ).

 

It was about politicians out there, who espouse family values all while they are having an affair; people that are affiliated with a particular party but turn there back on that when they don't want to vote for a man of color (or a woman for that matter) - people of that ilk. Or even worse yet, people that affiliate themselves with a party (and they don't really agree with the politics of that party) just because they know it will be easier to win an election in their area if they are of the 'correct' party. I guess that is all part of politics though, the nature of the game. Maybe that is why I don't really care for it and get bent out of shape when the presidential election rolls around. I guess politicians, in order to survive, have to be hypocrites (the game of politics does attract people like this, doesn't it?) because they are trying to please so many people. So I am stuck feeling like I have to choose between the lesser of two evils (a turd sandwhich or a giant douche, LOL). I feel hypocritical making the choice, because there is rarely someone I can get behind whole-heartedly. So when politicians wonder why people don't vote, there it is - disenchantment with the game, loss of naivety of the voter, lack of follow through on the elected officials part, too many politicians feathering their nests under the guise of doing what is best for the community (or off the backs of people they are supposed to represent), voter's disgust of being lied to time after time ... all around hypocrisy.

 

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Douche_and_Turd

Running, running...

Tonight is the first time in a while that I have had a little time to myself because I have been running, running. I should be working on homework (darn papers!) but I need to unwind. I went to the Doctor's today and my blood pressure was high - really high. I never have high blood pressure - it is always on the low side. I am not sure what is up with that but it is scary. I have been exhausted too, so when I am not running, I am sleeping and I try to squeeze some studying in there also. I really needed this time tonight to relax. I like writing in this blog, it is somewhat relaxing.

 

I was running all week but the highlight of the week was Saturday and Sunday:

 

Saturday was my stepson's first band competition. He plays trombone in marching band. The band did really well - his school won first place. He was pretty excited about that. He has competitions for the next 5 or 6 Saturdays. It is a lot of work for him but he really enjoys it. It is nice to see him perform, and it is interesting to watch how the band improves over time. They have come a long way in just a few weeks.

 

Sunday was my (one of my very best friends) sis, Rachel's wedding. She called me about a month ago and told me she was getting married and I had to come to the small reception at her Mom's house. Her and her fiance (they have a baby boy together) were just going to get married at the courthouse and it was no big deal. I told her I wanted to be at the ceremony but she said just make sure to come to the reception. We live far away from each other, and because we are so busy, we do not get to talk as much as we would like (or see each other ). Well in the blink of an eye, her wedding is a week away and it has become an actual ceremony. I talked to her last week and surprise, she said "you know I want you to be in the wedding" OK. So I was in a wedding this past Sunday. I don't know, for some reason I didn't think she was serious. I thought only her daughter was going to stand up with her. Luckily the dress I wore to the wedding ended up matching the color scheme. The wedding turned out to be really nice for being quickly put together. It was a lovely country wedding, and fun was had by all. Even my stepson had fun. He hung out with Rachel's daughter and her friends the whole time. They really seemed to hit it off (they had met before but it has been a year since they seen each other). Check out the pictures I took. Rachel and Stephanie look gorgeous. Rachel's wedding made me want to have a wedding all over again, or at least put my wedding gown on. LOL.

 

Silliness

 

 We had to hurry home from the wedding Sunday in order to get Jordan back to his mom's house (and I had homework). Well, we wanted to stop by his Aunt's house (which we did) and my Mom's to hit them up with a band fundraiser. Unfortunately, we didn't have time all week-end or the week prior with all the running around (as it is Jordan forgot all about the form but luckily his Dad and I had picked one up).

 

We stopped by my Mom's and I got to see my little nephews. I took them along with me when I took Jordan back to his mom's house. I don't know why I did that, seeing as how we were in a time crunch but it was fun . My nephews are so silly. Jordan wanted to get something to eat since he did not eat before he left the wedding (and there was tons of food too). So we planned on stopping at McDonalds but did not plan on getting the little ones anything because they had dinner waiting for them at Grandma's. Yeah right! We are driving down the road and my 4 year old nephew, Lil Kenny said "Aunt Jackie I'm hungry" and "Aunt Jackie if you go straight down this road there is a McDonalds. I want McDonalds" Dang it! hahahaha, kids always know about McDonalds. So we head on toward McDs. As we are pulling into McDs, my car starts dinging and the door ajar light comes on!!! My 2 year old nephew had opened his door. Yikes! Luckily he was strapped into his car seat. Then Lil Kenny wants to go inside the McDonalds - sorry kid, no time. I pull up to the drive through and could barely order because I was laughing so hard, Lil Kenny was shouting what he wanted, and Lil Alex mimicking his brother. I got him and Alex nuggets. I figured that would be less messy (originally Kenny wanted a cheeseburger Happy meal and nuggets!!). We get the food and Kenny demands "Where's the sauce?" hahaha, you're not getting any! Aren't I mean? Then Kenny says "I'm firsty" He wanted lemonade and mean Aunt Jackie didn't get him any and Jordan wasn't sharing his pop.  I know this is a very silly story but I had fun and I want to remember it. I need to spend more time with my nephews.

 

Good times, good times!

Somewhat Satisfied

Well, I found out my test grades today so I am satisfied.  I received an A on my Algebra test, and an A on my English test. Woohoo! I did not think I would get A's on the tests because I was not able to study like I wanted to but somehow I pulled it off. So, along with the A on my first Psych test, I have a good start to the semester.

 

There is only one troublesome issue - my paper for Literary Analysis.  I got my paper back today and I need to rewrite it - the whole class did poorly so we all have rewrites. We have also started on a new paper - poetry analysis. Ugh! I don't feel good about starting a new assignment until I am sure of what the professor wants. I think a lot of people are unsure how to proceed. Obviously the whole class is lacking in literary analysis skills if we all need to rewrite an assignment; or she was not clear about what she wanted from us. I actually think it was both.

 

It seems I started out well enough on my paper but I did not analyze the language close enough - I need to get down to individual words and phrases to analyze what the author meant or wanted to portray. This is very tedious. I like discussing literature but to pick it apart like that begins to get boring. Hahaha, maybe English major/minor is not for me after all.  

 

I like creative and personal writing. Of course, I can see how picking apart works of literature can make me a better writer though. I just need to struggle through it. The prof said that people that are true writers always have trouble with literary analysis - they have to be dragged, kicking and screaming through the analysis process. She said it can get quite violent. Maybe I am a true writer because let me tell you, I was really pissed off and bent out of shape today, hahaha (ok I won't flatter myself - maybe I am just being difficult). It wasn't about the fact that I have to rewrite the paper (I felt the paper would probably need more work when I turned it in), it is just that I do fight against picking text apart down to the minutest detail. This is not fun for me. While I do see some value in it, I have a hard time writing the dry style of paper needed to do this type of work. Argh! I thought this class was for me but I may end up hating it. Get ready for some bitching

Hypocrites

hypocrite

1.	a person who pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles, etc., that he or she does not actually possess, esp. a person whose actions belie stated beliefs.

2.	a person who feigns some desirable or publicly approved attitude, esp. one whose private life, opinions, or statements belie his or her public statements. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/hypocrite

 

 

I can't stand hypocrites. For all intents and purposes they are liars. They lie about who they are. It never ceases to amaze me how many people are willing to do that and lie about their beliefs. Isn't that unhealthy? Doesn't that damage ther soul, bother their conscience? Perhaps they have no soul and are without conscience. Yes, there are quite a few psychpaths running around out there.

 

I have met quite a few hypocrites in recent years (oh, they didn't come off that way at first but slowly their true natures reveal themselves). I just bothers me that there are people like this out there and they are in good standing in their communities and among their peers. Heck, they run this country - hypocrites. This is demoralizing, it makes you not care about anything. This hurts me on a personal level (I worry about the children and future generations - you can indeed see where this has been passed through families) I struggle with it on a daily basis. Perhaps I was naive before, I thought most people were like me. I was always taught to be honest, be true to yourself, work hard to get ahead, to be humble (ok sometimes I fail at this ) , and don't pretend to be something you are not. I guess all these values are old-fahioned, out-dated, and out of fashion (maybe they were never in).

 

Ok, I am not perfect. There are times, like political discussions, where it is best not to say anything about how you feel. Just walk away (like when people start their racist talk - nothing ever gets through to people like that) if you know you can't keep your cool. But overall, if something is important to me I will speak out about it. Above everything, I strive not to misrepresent who I am and what my beliefs are. I would think that is what most people who live in a free society would/should do but I guess that is not the case. I always hope for the best though. Yes, there is always hope.

 

 

The only thing worse than a liar is a liar that's also a hypocrite!

Tennessee Williams

 

What makes it so plausible to assume that hypocrisy is the vice of vices is that integrity can indeed exist under the cover of all other vices except this one. Only crime and the criminal, it is true, confront us with the perplexity of radical evil; but only the hypocrite is really rotten to the core.

Hannah Arendt

 

A hypocrite is the kind of politician who would cut down a redwood tree, then mount the stump and make a speech for conservation.

Adlai E. Stevenson

 

Hypocrisy, the lie, is the true sister of evil, intolerance, and cruelty.

Raisa Gorbachev

 

 

A little good news (for me)...

I got an A on my first Psychology test!! 100% - I am so happy.  To tell the truth, I can't believe it. I had to check the grade 3 times. The test wasn't as hard as I expected but you just never know how you will do when you don't feel you studied enough, and the test was all essay questions.

Now I hope I receive good grades on the rest of the stuff I am waiting for (and for the rest of the semester for that matter).

The Great Depression all over again?

 Interesting article:

"In hard times, tent cities rise across the country"

"Since foreclosure mess, homeless advocates report rise in encampments"

 

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26776283/

**********************************

 

What does this article say about the state of our country and the road we are headed down?

 

This article is just sad. My initial thoughts, when reading it, were of the Great Depression. Are we headed for that again? I hope not - the government seems to think not (as they buy/bail out companies). "We are not in a recession!" Yeah right! When do we stop deluding ourselves?

Annoyances/Grades.....

In my previous blog about school I mentioned a girl in class who was annoying the heck out of me. Well, come to find out I am not the only one.  There are 3 ladies from that class (Literary Analysis) that also share another class with me. We all started talking about the class and they mentioned about how annoying she was too! It is so funny. We all agreed that the annoying girl makes some good points in discussion but just wants to monopolize the discussion, and she talks too loud. I told them I felt the same way but I am glad that it wasn't just me that was annoyed. Hahaha - I hate to be the only mean, bitchy one.  One of the ladies says that the annoying girl sat in front of her and was leaning back too far, getting her hair all in the lady's stuff. Yuck. It is like the girl has no concept of how to be considerate of other people.

 

I turned in a paper Monday for that Literary Analysis class and I was hoping to get the results today. I was let down - not graded yet  I was hoping to get the results of my Psych test too (first test was on Monday) - not graded yet.  I had 2 tests today that I have to wait all week-end to get the results for.  I am so frustrated today. Also, I did not get to study for any of these tests like I wanted to. Too much running around lately (and feeling shitty). So I was frustrated, flustered and mad at myself. I was trying to cram all this information into my brain today. Well then I just had to say to myself "Whatever!!" or "F_ck IT!" They're only grades, right? Sure I want to get exceptional grades. All 4.0s if I can but it shouldn't be all about the grades, it should be about what I am learning. How much am I really learning trying to cram everything into my head? So I need to relax a little, let some things go a little.

All About School

Ok now it is time to catch up. I need to take a break and a little time for myself.

U of M – Flint is awesome! I love it. I can’t believe how much I love it. The campus is beautiful and the views of Flint from the campus are actually quite pretty. It is easy to get parking. I don't have to walk too far to get to my first class and once I am in that first building I don't have to go outside again until I leave for the day. All the buildings are connected by enclosed sky walks. That is nice - no getting rained on or freezing my ass off as I walk to class. Another great thing about UM Flint is, not only are there 3 computer labs, the whole campus is wireless so I can bring my laptop to campus with me and get on the internet from anywhere. And there are many comfortable places to sit and study.

I saw my friend Phil from Mott a few times on campus. He loves UM-Flint too. He said he doesn't feel like he is in high school anymore - the students are more mature on the UM campus than at Mott. I feel this too.

Even though I love UM Flint and I am thankful to be attending school there, I am still a little scared. I have 5 classes! 16 credits!! I originally only wanted 4 classes (that is considered a full load at 12/13 credits), but I signed on for 5 because I was waitlisted for one of my classes (a psych class I need) so I signed on for an extra class to make sure I would have a full load just in case I did not get into the psych class. Well I got into that class but I really wanted to keep the other class I signed on for too. It looked really interesting (it is a Theatre class) so I kept it. Now I have to struggle through this semester.

I arranged my classes so I only go 2 days a week. That is convenient and saves on gas. My first class of the day is college algebra – yuck. Not my favorite subject. This one is going to be difficult. The professor used to teach high school math in the community I live now, where my husband went to school. It would be pretty funny if my husband had him in high school. This professor seems nice enough but he is not organized. I miss my old math professor from Mott. She was super organized and made algebra seem easy, even though she made you feel like you were in grade school.

The second class I have is Elements of Literary Analysis. This is going to be fun (I think), but a ton of reading. This is the kind of class I have been waiting to take. We already had to read a book (Waiting for the Barbarians by J.M. Coetzee) and write a small paper about it. Luckily the book was only about 150 pages. The professor seems nice. She just moved here from Iowa and this is her first job as a college professor. She just received her doctorate. She is pretty funny. She says she likes the grittiness of Flint. She said “at least there is always something interesting on the radio, not just Celine Dion playing 24 hours a day.” She indicated that people seem more real out here. I guess in Iowa, at least the town she lived in, they were all ‘Stepford’ perfect people. Hahahaha I think I am really going to love this class. We get to discuss all forms of literature. We also have to write quite a few small papers. That sucks. I get a little frustrated with this class though. Sometimes, while we are discussing the literature, I can't get a word in.  The professor talks a lot (she will ask a question of us but then talk, talk, talk) and some of the other student’s observations are so, um … obvious or boring. There is this one girl in class that is so annoying too. I actually had her in a class at Mott. She talks a lot (just to hear herself talk) and interrupts people. She says she has ADD. She is just super annoying in my book. I know I am mean but deal with it.  The prof actually shut her down today. She asked this girl "You always have to be the first one to speak don't you?" Hahahaha.

Next is my lunch break. I have almost 2 hours between classes. That is nice. I walk on over to University Pavillion and get lunch and study. Last week, during lunchtime,  there was a party in the middle of campus.

http://www.mlive.com/flintjournal/index.ssf/2008/09/number_of_higher_education_stu.html

All the clubs were out in McKinnon Plaza trying to recruit new members. I got some free school supplies, a t-shirt, and there was free food too! That is one of the great things about UM Flint - there is always something going on, and there are usually freebies. Heck, the university gives you $16 on your campus ID card so you print out your notes and assignments in the computer lab. I like that.

 

After lunch I have the class Research Methods in Psychology. This is going to be a challenge. I like reading about research and experiments but I have never had the desire to conduct my own research. That is all this class is - learning about conducting research and experiments. It is a requirement; I have to take it to move on to the upper level psych classes. This is the class I am most worried about - we have to write 2 papers and the tests are all short answer essay question tests, not to mention the experiments we have to set up. Maybe I am worrying for nothing, things have been going OK so far. I actually had my first test for this class today and it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be but I will have to see how I did. I guess I am most worried about the papers I have to write. I have yet to write a psychology paper. SCARY! Again I find myself missing a Mott professor - I miss Dr. McCain. Oh my current professor is nice but she doesn't seem to have the charisma that Dr. McCain has.

 

The fourth class of the day is The Structure of English. This class is pretty much all about English grammar. It is a linguistics class. Parts of it are interesting but parts of it are boring too. I thought it would be a good idea for me to brush up on my grammar, to help me strengthen my writing and also my foriegn language skills (eventually). The professor is really interesting. She is from Holland. She has lived in the U.S. for about 14 years. She has a slight accent, which is very cute. It is also interesting to learn about English from someone who is not a native speaker. She has shared some great anecdotes/experiences with us. She is a linguist and she challenges us to think about language(s) is a new way, a more open minded way. She told us about how a word, the sound of a word puts an image into our head that may not have the same meaning/image for someone else, for example... a bad word in our language, the word cunt, actually conjurs up a beautiful image for her. Where she is, in her native language (German I think) from the word kant (pronounced cunt) actually means lace.

 

My last class of the day is a theatre class, Drama as Performance. Most of the students in this class are theatre majors and are very fun. I so want to get involved in theatre at U of M - Flint. I just don't think I have the time. I may have to make the time because I am actually contemplating a double major - Psych and Theatre. This class is much like the Literary Analysis class - we are reading plays and analyzing them. Some of the material in this class is the same as in the Literary Analysis class so that is a plus. There is a lot of reading for this class as well as quite a few papers (mostly smaller 2 page papers though). We already had a paper due, which I got an A on. Woohoo! Now another paper is due this Wednesday.

 

So that is a summary of my school day and that has been my all that has been going on in my life lately. Busy, busy - between school, trying to work (even just part time), driving my husband and stepson (the boys, hahaha) around, (My stepson is very busy lately with marching band; practices; Friday night football games; and now competitions every Saturday) and trying to feel better (yes, I am still sick and tired - exhausted really). This is all I have time for.

 

Other things of interest (to me anyway) are:

 

Today at school I checked out the library. It is pretty nice. Three huge floors of books, periodicals, reference materials, and computers. There are beautiful views of the campus and the Flint River from the library. 

 

 I also toured the Recreation Center. The Rec center has everything you can think of - pool, indoor running/walking track, cardio room, weights, exercise machines, raquetball, indoor tennis, volleyball, basketball courts, etc. AWESOME!! I am going to go and work out - it is free for students so I have to take advantage of that.

 

And finally, there is a lady in my psych class who is in the symphony band. I was pleased to find out there is a symphony band at UM - Flint. I miss playing the trombone - miss being in band. Heck, you know I miss performing.  She said they will take anybody. I want to join so bad but I already have a class when the band meets. So I am definitely joining soon as my schedule permits. Now I can't wait until next semester.

 

First 2 pics (below) are from the New Student Convocation, where the University welcomed all the new students before the beginning of the semsester. That was lovely.

Talking about Handcrafting the past - SlideShow - MSN Real Estate - 1

Love the idea of re-creating old style homes. I hate McMansions (they look cheap and/or pretentious) and I am not all that fond of ranch style homes (although I have one).  I wish I could afford one of these homes in the slide show. Maybe some day....

Here is the article all about it ( http://realestate.msn.com/Buying/Article_wsj_inline.aspx?cp-documentid=9531187&GT1=35000 ) and check out the slideshow.

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Handcrafting the past - SlideShow - MSN Real Estate - 1

 

Catch Up

I have to catch up my blog on all that I have been up to lately, hehehe; and I never did write about my vacation. I am still feeling pretty yucky a lot of the time lately so I haven't been writing. I am sick but I am not sure what is wrong with me. I have been back and forth to my Dr's but he can't find out what is wrong with me. I think it is time to find another Dr. When I went to the Dr's this past Monday I showed some weight loss - 10 pounds since the end of June - I am not trying to lose weight. I haven't been exercising and have been eating McDonalds! Well, I don't have much of an appetite, which is soo not me. I weighed myself again this morning and it seems I have lost even more weight since Monday. The scale shows a 6 pound weight loss but it maybe my scale is off. Even so, if I lost 2 to 3 pounds since Monday - that is a little alarming.

 

I want to write about my vacation and up north. I will have to get back to that, maybe tomorrow. I also started classes at University of Michigan - Flint. I am super excited about that! My husband said he is excited for me. Isn't that sweet? My first day was great. I love the campus and my classes and teachers seem interesting. It is going to be a lot of work. I keep thinking or praying, if this can be considered a prayer, "Please God, don't let me fuck up!" I will definitely write more soon. I have pictures of the campus to post too.

Sad to be back from vacation....

I went on a short vacation and now I am back. It really was too short - I wish we were still up north. I love Michigan. I love the Great Lakes. I had to share this beautiful picture I took before I went to bed. This is the Platte River with Lake Michigan and Sleeping Bear Dunes beyond. Love it! Wanna' live up there!

 

I will share more later.

 

 

Baby Fever

OMG! I think I am getting baby fever. Well maybe it is only fleeting. I just feel like I am running out of time if I want to have kids of my own. I have been on the fence about it for a long time. I know I will regret it if I don't have a child but it is also nice not to have that responsibility. Most of the time it is just me and my husband and that is always nice - we can do what we want. hahaha  

 

I have never been a baby person, although I love baby dolls. Babies are cute but I have never been one to go crazy over them. I like kids when they are a little older - ok toddlers are cute and fun. They crack me up but I always have been able to leave them with their parents when I was tired, haha. I was reading on this chat board I visit every onec and a while (check it out - it is all about blended families for any steps out there http://www.thenestbaby.com/stages/stage.aspx?stage=months612&ForumID=428) about all the mothers trying to concieve and I am starting to feel like I want that too. Yikes! My cute little smiley nephew is getting to me!! The little ham.

 

I guess I have always felt two ways about the subject of having kids. There are plenty of people in this world, do I really need to add to it? I have always felt that if I had a kid it would be more to please my parents than for myself. They would like to have a granddaughter. I would like to have a daughter too. But I am independent and need a lot of time to myself - how does a kid fit into that? It is so nice to be able to go when I want and not have to worry about a babysitter. Yes I have a stepson but he has never been my responsibility in that way. I came into his life when he was 5. Sure I watched him at times but most of the time his Dad has been around. It's like that when you only have every other week-end with the kid. My stepson has never been a burden so to speak - never hindered me from doing the things I want/need to do. If I had a baby I know that would change, I would have to give up a lot of free time. I know it would be worth it but I am not sure if I am up for it. I would need to have a support group in place, LOL. And like I said, I know I will regret it if I don't have a child of my own. I have always wanted a daughter - heck I saved all my dolls, barbies and books for her! I have always wanted to be a grandmother too. Motherhood has not always been the best thing to me - too much heartache; being a grandma seems like it is more fun, haha.

 

Even my body is telling me I need to get to it, or it is my mind messing with me. I had a dream a few nights ago that my eggs were bad, LOL!!! In the dream I opened a dresser drawer (top drawer) and in there was a flat of eggs. I said to myself "Now why did I put these in here? They are all spoiled now!" I am so silly - I meant to put them away and forgot about them. Uh oh!" Isn't that a crazy dream? I know though, that if I want to have a baby I need to get healthy and lose some weight. I would be in bad shape if I tried to have a baby now, and I would get as big a house - yikes! Just another reason to haunt my doctor.

 

 

Me and my favorite baby a long time ago. I still have her. I am not doing the peepee dance in this photo, I was trying to pull my shorts down before Grandpa snapped the photo.