I can't wait though.
Anybody in the Genesee County area or passing through should check out Flint. I have been working for the U.S. Census. It has been quite the learning experience - fun but challenging. It seems to be winding down now which is sad but we'll see. I have put away a little bit of money so I am excited about that. It would be nice to have a little more but c'est la vie. My husband and I haven't really planned any trips this summer because of my job but if it winds down soon we may be able to. I am so in the mood for a road trip. I really want to go back to the Upper Peninsula (Michigan). We do have a trip planned for Labor Day, we are going to Mackinac Island and are also going to walk the Mackinac Bridge. I have always wanted to do that so I can't freakin' wait!
So I have been working quite a bit lately. Luckily I have
some happy pills now and I keep smiling, even at work. What makes it better is
when I am dealing with nice people; even better is when I get lovely
compliments like the one I did today. I was pretty happy this morning, if not
more than a little tired. I very nice couple came in and the woman told me “You
have such a beautiful smile!” That made me feel great because working at McDonalds
you often feel like a greasy frump – well at least I do, LOL. So when that lady
told me I had a beautiful smile I felt less frumpy and more happy. I like to
remember compliments – they are gifts to me, something to bring me up when I am
feeling a little out of sorts about myself. And it reminded me of a couple of
other times customers had complimented me on my smile.
One early morning a man came in to the store and I was
making coffee. I turned to him, smiled, and told him I would be right with him.
He seemed surprised at my greeting, almost awestruck. At first I thought I may
have had something on my face but he told me that the way I smiled at him was
beautiful. He seemed amazed and a little embarrassed. It made me feel really
good though. It was a beautiful compliment and I had not quite fully realized
the power of a smile until then.
Another great compliment I got was a lady told me I had nice
smile – that I smiled with my eyes as well as with my mouth. She kept looking
at me and I felt I brightened her day. I love brightening someone’s day! It is reciprocal
– when I feel I made someone feel better I feel better and give out more smiles…
until some ass comes along and ruins it. Haha, not always though, you can’t win
over everybody. Overall though I think a smile goes a long way to making everyone
feel good.
-----------------------------------------------
Work
Another person who has a beautiful smile - my stepson. I hope he keeps that smile. He just got his first job. He is working at Wendy's, another fast food restaurant. I think he likes it so far and I hope they treat him right there. He has wanted a job for a while now and I am happy for him but I worry too. I want him to put school and school activities first before the job. I know a job is a good opportunity for both earning money and learning but I want my stepson to be able to enjoy being a kid (he is 16 yeah, but still a kid - not grown yet and he does not need too many responsibilities yet). It is important that he is able to do well in school and take advantage of experiences being in school offers. I don't think job experiences should be top priority right now but I am afraid that once he really starts working he will get caught up in wanting more and more money and material possessions, the kind of drive that goes along with having a job and leaves little room for anything else in life.
It is fun to talk to him about the job though. We share working in fast food in common now - he will soon realize all the 'joys' of working I have discovered. LOL. In a funny way I am proud of him for taking on this challenge. I hope he does well and is able to balance everything AND we still get to see him.
“Life changes fast. Life changes in an instant. You sit down to dinner and life as you know it ends. The question of self-pity.” Joan Didion, from The Year of Magical Thinking
I have a presentation today on Joan Didion and writing. Just trying to put it all together. Didion is an interesting person and I have learned something about writing from learning about how she works - I am not quite sure what yet. 
I am taking a developmental psych class this semester. We have to make weekly posts on BlackBoard (an online learning site) about a topic or topics discussed in class over the week. We were studying marriage, divorce, and work this past week so below is my post which my professor praised me for. I like to post my school work that I am proud of and I get awesome compliments on - haha, I know, I am weird or whatever but I really like my post and I plan to do some more work on this topic in the future. Lately I have been researching parental alienation syndrome and hostile parenting in divorce to come up with a research project. More research definitely needs to be done on those subjects as well as fathers going through divorce and those 'deadbeat dad's'. I know there are plenty of deadbeat parents but I believe some are labeled unfairly.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Men and women do recover differently from divorce
but I believe that as far as finances go, things are changing. I believe men
are having a more difficult time recovering financially from divorce than in
the past. The NPR article Prof posted touches on the fact that the current
recession has hit all men hard (not only African American men, although they
already suffered from high unemployment before the recession due to racism and
other factors mentioned in the article), really cutting into manufacturing
jobs. Many current news articles have addressed the problems of a lot of people
(both men and women of course) not being able to afford divorce because of the
economy – no one wants the marital home anymore because they cannot afford to
make payments. This has forced many couples to stay together or at least live
together even after divorce. This illustrates that all people are being
affected negatively financially.
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=120351534
Also I believe that perhaps men’s problems may not
have been reported in the past giving inaccurate information as to how divorce
actually does affect them financially. Most men 'fly under the radar' because
they do not have access to government assistance if they are in financial
crisis; well other than if they lose a job and obtain unemployment insurance.
Unlike women, they do not typically receive Medicaid and food stamps because
they are less likely to care for children and do not bear children. So women
(with children) in poverty are more likely to be reported and counted because
they apply for and qualify for government assistance. Men usually just have to
suck it up and deal with financial hardships as best as they can and pay their
child support if there are children involved - they are even expected to
maintain the same level of child support even if they are experiencing
financial hardship.
Overall, men are less likely to talk
about their problems. Many of the deadbeat Dad's we hear about just disappear
from their children's lives because they feel of little value when they are
unable to pay child support (or maintain child support payments) when they are
in financial hardship. In Chapter 10, implicit social beliefs are discussed. It
seems that there is an implicit social belief that children are better of with
Mom after a divorce. This is not always the case but the belief seems to be
upheld by courts and it scares a lot of men into not fighting for custody, or
at least shared custody. There is also a belief that men that do not pay their
child support are all deadbeats. Sometimes it is just that they were
experiencing financial hardship and could not get caught back up after.
Generally, it is then that they disappear from their children's lives so they
get the bad reputation of not only not providing for their kids but not wanting
to have anything to do with them.
I wish that there was some way to get people to
consider the consequences of divorce before they get married or at least before
they have children. Divorce seems to be much harder on both males and females
in the relationship when children are involved (not to mention the toll it
takes on the children).
http://www.theartofloveandintimacy.com/2007/03/four-horseman-of-apocalypse-john.html
The 'four horsemen' (John Gottman's work) we talked about it class, how
they negatively impact a marriage, continue to negatively impact relationships
(including a child’s relationship with their parents) after a divorce. Usually no
one, of course, has any interest in maintaining any sort of relationship but
many people forget (or try to ignore the fact) that if they made a child
together they are tied to the other parent for life. I know first hand the detrimental
effects divorce has on men by watching my husband have to deal with his ex-wife
over visitation and child support issues. He has always paid his child support
but his ex (blog disclaimer; of course this is my perception of events and even though she has admitted to being 'petty' I am sure she sees things differently, so all this is my opinion, perception, conjecture, etc.) often treats him like he is a deadbeat – sometimes criticizing him
in front of their son (God only knows what she says behind his back); she shows
open contempt for him, gets defensive when anything she does is questioned
although seem to feel free to question him, and she also often stonewalls over
visitation/parenting issues. It is like WE are all stuck in a bad marriage
because we have to deal with each other for the sake of the child. Sure this
will lessen when my stepson turns 18 but there are many events, milestones or
'rites of passage' that happen after 18 that parents are likely to be involved
in. So if relations are contentious it is really bad for all involved.
I could go on and on about divorce and the
negative effects, especially what I have witnessed with my husband and stepson.
It always brings me back to this: people need to be more careful who they get
involved with, get married to and make children with. Sure the stigma has worn
off divorce in this country but the negative impacts of divorce are great and
there is much research to be done on its effects, especially of the effects on
men, who are often forgotten in the mix.
Here are a couple of good websites I like
concerning divorce:
http://www.mediate.com/articles/psych.cfm
http://www.paskids.com/
http://www.hostile-aggressive-parenting.com/what_is_Hostile_Aggressive_Parenting.asp
http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/childrenanddivorce/qt/chilfrens_right.htm
------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is one of the most thoughtful and
informative posts I've ever seen. Thanks very much. How the economy
affects divorce rate, gender differences in how one reacts to divorce and
unemployment, the 4 horseman "following" the couple, even after
they're divorced and negatively affecting the remarriage...and more. Lots
to consider...thanks again.
http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/SmartSpending/blog/page.aspx?post=1708340&_blg=1,1708340
I would love to be able to this but alas I am at the whim of my cravings and would be totally crazy the within the first few days. I will be checking this blog thought to see how it turns out for her and maybe get some ideas. Of course I have to consider my husband and stepson - they would not like this lady's menu.
It is spring break and I am in a reminiscing mood. I guess
it is not Spring Break exactly, maybe mid-semester break would be the more
proper term but anyway I have a week off. I can't really relax because I have a
few papers to write but it will be nice to sit a home. I have been in that kind
of mood for the past few months - just want to sit at home or hibernate. Yes I
an in hibernation mode, as I call it. I always get super tired in January and
February. This year it has been really bad. I can't stay up past 11pm and I need a damn nap everyday too! I hope
that after break I will start feeling more energized.
I can't believe we are already 2 months into the new year
and my school semester is half over. I didn't really get to reflect and write a
blog on 2009 like I wanted to. And 2010 seems pretty HO HUM so far for me,
although besides being exhausted I am feeling a bit better in other areas. I am
hoping it will get a little more exciting. 2009 was a good year in some
respects but a bad year in others.
My husband and I took some good trips in 2009 - those were
the highlight of my year. Of course all the trips were in Michigan
but I love Michigan and the more
places I go to within my home state the more I find to explore.
In May we went
to Grand Rapids, which was awesome
because believe it or not Grand Rapids
is a happening town! It is probably the place with the most growth in Michigan
right now. I hit up a few museums (the Gerald Ford Presidential Museum is
great!) and relaxed after a very trying winter semester. The best part of that
was that it was paid for by somebody else besides us, haha. My husband had to
go there for a Homeland Security Conference. On our way out of Grand
Rapids we decided to take a detour by Holland,
Michigan since the tulip festival was going
on. We saw the longest parade ever – the kinderparade. Holland
is a lovely place and it is close to my favorite lake – Lake
Michigan. Of course we stopped by the beach. I love it over there,
I just can’t say enough about it!
Then we took our anniversary trip to Mackinac
Island. I was almost afraid we would be sick of Mackinac because
it is not a very big island and we have been there a lot within the last few
years but I was soooo wrong. We caught all the lilacs in bloom and it was
heavenly. We went on an island ghost tour - it was magical walking the island
at night. We also saw a band (Michal Bailey Band, blues) that we love there.
Then we hiked all over the island and discovered a few places we had not been
too yet like Pontiac Trail, a scenic path along the west bluff and Manitou Trail,
a quite arduous trail (the oldest on the island I have heard) off of the East
Bluff that goes to Robinson’s Folly and on to Arch Rock. I took some amazing
pictures and my love and appreciation for the island deepened.
In July we had our annual family camping trip with my husband’s family. We went
and camped just over Mackinac Bridge
at Straits State Park
in St. Ignace, Michigan.
Our campsite was on the Straits with a terrific view of the Mackinac
Bridge. We had an amazing time - I
love the U.P. The weather was not the greatest but we did go to the beach a
couple of times. Of course we went to Mackinac Island
for a day and I got most of the family to hike the treacherous Manitou Trail to
Arch Rock. Then we (my husband, stepson, Wally the dog, and I) drove out (my
stepson actually drove the majority of the time – he has his learner’s permit) of
the bad weather to places all around the eastern part of the Upper Peninsula
that I really wanted to show my husband and stepson. We went to a ghost town in
Fayette, Michigan.
That is the on the Garden Peninsula
that juts out into Lake Michigan. Words fail me in
describing the beauty of that region. I had been there as a girl and it made an
impact on me - I always wanted to go back and I am so glad I made it and got to
show my husband and stepson. We drove up to Munising Michigan
on Lake Superior and saw Miners
Falls and Wagner
Falls – beautiful of course and I
took some lovely pictures. Our dog Wally really loved the waterfalls, so
thankful we got to take him. Then we took a scenic boat tour of Pictured Rocks. Again
words fail me but it was awesome, amazing, beautiful…. Lake Superior
water around that area is a clear emerald green and too beautiful for words. I
really want to go back to that region and do some hiking. Another day we took
in Tahquamenon Falls,
largest falls in Michigan and in
the top five of the biggest falls east of the Mississippi.
We drove on up through Paradise to Whitefish Point on Lake
Superior and went the Shipwreck
Museum. That was cool. And we got
to see the fog role on in from the Lake. That day I put
my foot in three of the great lakes, haha – Lake Superior,
Lake Michigan and Lake Huron. On
our last day we went on up to Sault Ste. Marie and took the Soo Locks Boat
tour. I had been on it when I was a girl but it seemed more interesting this
time around. It was something my husband and stepson really wanted to do so I
am glad we got to do it and I believe they enjoyed it. Really the whole trip
was awesome and writing about it makes me want to go back. Also I it makes
realize I need to come up with some new adjectives because I cannot express
enough how awesome, amazing, lovely and beautiful the Upper Peninsula
is with my limited vocabulary! LOL, it grows tiresome, cliché and boring but
the UP is wonderful!
Our last trip of the year was to my parent's place in Manistee County, Michigan (west side, Lower Peninsula) - another beautiful spot, one of my all time favorites. My husband and I went there for Labor Day week-end and we got to take Wally too! We relaxed and went to the beach (Onekama, on Lake Michigan - I highly recommend) a couple of times and also did up the town of Manistee with Wally in tow. I took more great pics. We took Wally walking all around and swimming too so he enjoyed himself and got tons of attention from people we met along the way. Everyone made much of him and would tell him and us how pretty and well-behaved he was. He got lots of pets. Again I find myself so grateful for that opportunity of time spent with our poor doggie - the memories and also for all the pics I took.These are the moments I live for, truly.
The bad part of the year was I was sick (respiratory
problems) and stressed because of it a lot of the time, and so damn tired of
course. I started of the year with 3 pets (my two birdies and our poor dog,
Wally) and ended the year with none. Also a couple of me and my husband's family
members have major health issues so it was poopy to see them going through pain
and all the other stuff (a lot of changes and learning to deal with chronic illness)
that go along with being sick. To add to our (hubby and I) stress our well (sometimes I wish we had city water, or lived in a city or suburb) quit
working … twice! That cost a pretty penny to get fixed (had to replace the pump
and tank, the second time it was due to a defect in the new tank so luckily we
didn’t have to pay for that). Then to top it all off our furnace quit working
too! That wasn’t as bad of a fix as the well but we may need to get a new
furnace in the near future and we are so not looking forward to that expense. It
really was beginning to feel like we were stuck in a bad country song (are
there any good ones?? LOL)… “the well runned dry, my furnace broke and my dog
up and died…” But my husband and I made it through the year all-right.
School last semester (fall) was pretty stressful. I thought I planned my classes so they would be lighter and easier to handle while I took a hard statistics class I had to take, but it did not quite work out as well as I planned. Even though I only work part time I have trouble fitting everything in. First I joined the Wind Symphony last fall because I thought it would be fun and easy - found out that I pretty much suck at playing the trombone, LOL. It is not like riding a bike. My memory has been getting bad lately so to remember all the notes and what stuff is supposed to sound like is challenging. I did get a little better but it was a struggle. I also took a creative writing class. I like to write but I found out that what I truly like about writing is the finished product and not necessarily the process. Plus I go through phases where I do not feel like writing at all and this summer and fall I was in one of those phases. Very difficult! The aforementioned stats class was a bear! I will not bore anybody with the details but it did have me wanting to pull my hair out at times. The other class I took was Spanish and that was fun and easy. When all is said and done I made it through the semester and made the Dean's List. Wahoo!
The Christmas holidays were nice. We had my family (my Dad's
side - my aunts and uncles, my cousins and my two great-aunts) over for a big
party. It turned out great! Our house looked beautiful and I can't believe it
can hold over or about 40 people. Everybody had a good time. My husband and I received a
lot of compliments and it was good to have everybody over, especially my two
great aunts whom I hardly ever see. That was also a highlight of my year.
Wally Kaboom, Rest in Peace 12-15-09 He was a great dog, gentle and loving. He will be missed tremendously.
We had to put our dog Wally to sleep. He was 12 or 13 years old and his health was failing. His hips had been really bothering him and then he started having seizures. We had taken the day previously (he started having seizures that morning) and the vet drew blood and sent him home with us and some meds to await the results of the blood tests. He had 3 seizures the next morning so we rushed him to the vet.
The vet told us Wally's sugar was really high and he was diagnosed as a diabetic. We left Wally at the vet for treatment to bring down his sugar and figure out the right dosage of insulin for him. We thought he could be treated but later found out the medication for him would be $200 a month. At first the vet said it would be less money and he could do well with treatment but you never know and the seizures may be a symptom of the diabeties or it may be something else. We also found out Wally had a heart murmur. ARGH! My poor husband and I struggled, wrestled, all day trying to decide if we should go ahead and try to treat Wally or given his age and health if we should just put him to sleep. It was anguishing to make that decision (the worst I have ever had to make) but we finally decided to have him put to sleep. We went to the vets in the afternoon and the vet told us we were making the right decision, that he thought Wally was doing pretty poorly.
The vet brought Wally into the room with us. Wally was lethargic but started barking because he wanted to go home. It was heart wrenching! He didn't sound like himself and he could not get up on his back legs. We were waiting for my stepson to get to the vets office from his mom's house. My stepson wanted to say good-bye too. So we waited with Wally. I couldn't say good-bye. I wanted Wally to think everything was going to be OK but I think he knew. I think he knew for a while. It is so sad... We were there with him when they gave him the injection. It was quick and his spirit left quicky. I can't believe how fast he was gone. I hope he is in peace now and I hope he knows how much we love and miss him.
Well that is where I am at right now. I open the door to the fridge
It is one of two
Because we need more room
To store all our food
I open the door to the fridge
So packed that five things fall out
Half empty cartons of spoiling food
I stuff them back in
I open the door to the fridge
And a smell like a fart wafts out
I close the door quickly
Trying to ignore the stench
..........
Clean Out, November 19th 2009
Half eaten can of old spam,
almost empty cartons of sour cream
too numerous to count,
stacked up haphazardly – they always fall out.
Throw them all out.
Expired
Spotted lunchmeat – definitely bad,
styrofoam container of leftovers from
some restaurant visited on Mother’s Day.
Even more in another fridge to get rid of;
doggie bags meant for later.
Forgotten
Biscuits dated 14th of April 2009.
Squishy zucchini squashed and
no good now.
Brown guacamole, green fuzzy cheese,
liquefied lettuce and more…
Wasted
Don’t forget the eggs,
of a carton 3 are left.
Don’t think of dozens of others
in bags long ago thrown away,
like now - too heavy to lift.
Trashed
------------------------------------
Poetry is not always pretty and it does not have to rhyme.
Call me crazy, a bitch, drama queen or whatever but I do know a few things. March 19
I don't know - you tell me. What are you thinking?
Also, why do some parents think that teenagers are grown and can be left to their own devices? Sometimes I think that some parents want to think their teen is grown up so they don't have to deal with issues or can spend more time on what they, the parent, want to do (or just be involved in the fun stuff their child is doing - COP OUT). That is lax parenting.
My thoughts are that teens are not grown up yet and still need guidance (this may be the time they need the most parenting), and yes sometimes they have to be told they cannot do stuff. Especially when they are getting bad grades (bad grades in my book is anything below a C-). There is no excuse! Especially when their grades have been less than stellar for years and nothing (or very little has been done about it). Academics need to be made (need to be seen as important by the teen, by both words and example) a priority. This means schoolwork, in class work, comes before all other extracurricular activities (whether they are school sanctioned or other activities). Talking to a teen about grades is all very well and good, letting them know your displeasure, and you can talk to you're blue in the face and they will say they understand and will do better yet the bottom line is you need to follow up all the talk with some action - either the kid has to do better in school, like he has been saying he had been or wants to do or some of his activities have to go until he does better in school. A teen needs to know parents mean business and the only way to get through to them sometimes is to take something away that they dearly want to do or make them work to get in the first place.
Of course it is better to make them work to get something they want before they actually get the privilege rather than take something away but sometimes, as in the case of lax parenting, parents have already given their teen what they wanted - independence, the ability to participate in any or all activities they want to. Then when the teen gets bad grades they (both parent and teen) want to make excuses and not do what needs to be done to correct the issue. What do you think is going to happen in the future? The teen is just going to miraculously improve his grades without guidance from anybody? Well wouldn't that be wonderful but unlikely to happen. No, most likely, if nothing is done about the bad grades, the teen will continue to flunk classes and get further and further behind, especially if he is allowed to participate in numerous extracurricular activities. That is why the teen should be getting decent grades before he is allowed to participate in extracurricular activities - make him earn it so he knows what it takes to keep it.
Does this make sense? Or is it better just to let your teen do what he wants and hope and pray for the best? Hope that he has the wisdom to make hard choices, to show some restraint, put academics first, and have the time management skills of an adult. Well you know my thoughts on the matter.
I learned this the hard way. Truth to tell, I still struggle with managing my time and activities. I was given all the independence I wanted as a teen. I was able to participate in any extracurricular activities. I wanted to, which really wasn't that much. I did drama and choir outside of school hours. I was also in band but I was not in Marching or Jazz bands, so there was very little outside of school work. I had a job. I got bad grades, got behind and eventually quit high school. Truthfully, it wasn't just participating in extracurricular activities that led to me get bad grades, but that was part of it. I only participated in 3 extra activities - not 4 to 5 or more. It would have helped if someone would have stepped in and did something to make me see I had to make academics (no matter how boring or tedious, no matter how stupid and irrelevant I thought some subjects were) a priority. That I had to put some importance on things that had to be done to get by (this I hate - who doesn't hate jumping through hoops just to get a diploma? Or doing things they could care less about? But it is a part of life) rather that just placing importance on the things I really wanted to do. So if my parents had made me earn the right to participate in the activities or taken them away when I started failing high school, I might have learned to prioritize, and that there were things I had to do first before I got to do the things I really wanted. I have seen this work with other kids. A firm and guiding hand from the parents usually results in better academic performance and a kid who knows how to manage his time and activities. If that has been lacking then the kid will not learn and will be like me - he will end up learning the hard way or may never learn it. Is that what parents want?
I am excited to start school again but I don't think I am ready for all the hard work. I took a light load this semester. Well, so I thought. We'll see how light it actually is. I have Spanish 3 days a week, a creative writing class, symphony band, and an online psychology class - statistics and probability.
I had to take a foreign language for a requirement and I love languages anyway. It was either Chinese or Spanish given the way the U.S. is headed these days. I chose Spanish - I believe it to be easier than Chinese to learn. Class seems like it will be easy - no papers to write and I know some Spanish. I also have 2 years of French so I am sure some of the words/grammar are similar.
Of course the creative writing class will be a challenge - all writing. The biggest challenge to me in that is coming up with ideas and actually being able to sit myself down and write out what I want…Always too many draws on my time and concentration, not to mention my ever present fatigue. The prof seems nice but a little strict - he actually said that if you are too ill to attend class and do the writing, then you are too ill to be in school. I can see that but I also think "WTF? Is a person supposed to just wither away and die then?" I mean what if a person never feels good? They are not supposed to pursue a life? Maybe I am taking it too far but that is what I feel sometimes - yeah I don't feel good much of the time and my ass is dragging but I am dragging it - I want to get somewhere no matter how bad I feel and it helps if understanding people help me out along the way.
Stats and probability - yuck! I have to take it, it is a requirement for my major so I figured I would get it out of the way. It seems like it will be challenging. I would have rather taken a face to face class and not an online class but they did not offer one on my campus this semester so I am going to give it a try. Wish me luck.
I was most excited about joining the school band this semester. I signed up for symphony band because I miss performing. I used to play trombone in high school, oh 20 years ago. I have a trombone and I can still play so I thought band would be fun. I started class today - not so excited anymore. I was somewhat nervous and I had not practiced as much as I wanted to before I started. I am not strong at music reading, I used to have to hear a piece first and then practice it. Well I go to class apprehensive. I totally sucked. First we did some exercise I had never done before, the teacher was talking nonsense. Then we start working on music, Yeah, I still sucked. I am thinking what have I gotten myself into? Yikes. Well I talked to the band director and he doesn't seem too concerned so I am still going to give band a try. I just need to practice, practice, practice. Work, work, work
Today I also attended University Chorale. I am seriously thinking about joining. I am not sure though - I don't want to load up on too much. I just miss performing and between band and chior I might be able to majorly improve my music reading skills.
So another year begins. I feel like I am too much out of my comfort zone, unsure if I can meet the challenges. This can be good or it can all come crashing down on me.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32569213/ns/us_news-life?gt1=43001
This article made me so angry. I can't believe the woman in the article - of all people, she should have known better. I just keep thinking that this is BS. This exec should step down! How could you not know that your dog was in the car? So stupid... so know are other people going to get away with using that as an excuse, "Honestly, I didn't know my dog was in the car!" yeah, NO EXCUSE!
Wow this is a great article. I can see a lot of psychological research and papers coming out of this. It is all about men and women's differing reactions to stress and comunicating. Interesting food for thought....
Quote
How To Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It
Forget everything you've heard about frankness, sharing your feelings, getting him to express his. Research into the functions of the male mind makes it clear that discussion may be the fastest way to shut down communication. (Oh, you noticed that, have you?)
Psychologist adds scientific insight to loaded label of 'psychopath'
"For most people on the planet, the term "psychopath" evokes thoughts of violence and bloodshed - and evil of the darkest kind. But during 25 years, a psychologist at the University of Wisconsin-Madison has built a body of work that may help temper such deeply ingrained perceptions."
"So who are psychopaths? Broadly speaking, they are people who use manipulation, violence and intimidation to control others and satisfy selfish needs. They can be intelligent and highly charismatic, but display a chronic inability to feel guilt, remorse or anxiety about any of their actions."
"Scientists estimate that 15-25 percent of men and 7-15 percent of women in U.S. prisons display psychopathic behaviors. The condition, however, is hardly restricted to the prison system. Newman estimates that up to 1 percent of the general population could be described as psychopathic. Surprisingly, many who fall into that bracket might lead perfectly conventional lives as doctors, scientists and company CEOs."
"But Newman has a different idea entirely. He believes that psychopathy is essentially a type of learning disability or "informational processing deficit" that makes individuals oblivious to the implications of their actions when focused on tasks that promise instant reward. Being focused on a short-term goal, Newman suggests, makes psychopathic individuals incapable of detecting surrounding cues such as another person's discomfort or fear."
"People think (psychopaths) are just callous and without fear, but there is definitely something more going on," Newman says. "When emotions are their primary focus, we've seen that psychopathic individuals show a normal (emotional) response. But when focused on something else, they become insensitive to emotions entirely."
My question - is violence always present in a psychopath? I have known a few people who fit this definition but violence is not evident in their behavior. Also I believe our society cultivates psychopathic behavior in a lot of ways. I mean how focused are we on instant gratification? Also, how often are we taught to tamp down or put a lock on our emotions (especially men) in order to complete a task or get through something difficult? How much are we taught to read (or the importance of reading people) emotional cues that would clue us into what others are feeling? I think in today's society, emotions and reading emotions are forgotten or are made out to be something that is not important or even something to be feared.
Here is another article about the psychopathic brain:
http://www.physorg.com/news168610123.html
"The research investigated the brain biology of psychopaths with convictions that included attempted murder, manslaughter, multiple rape with strangulation and false imprisonment. Using a powerful imaging technique (DT-MRI) the researchers have highlighted biological differences in the brain which may underpin these types of behaviour and provide a more comprehensive understanding of criminal psychopathy.
Dr Michael Craig said: 'If replicated by larger studies the significance of these findings cannot be underestimated. The suggestion of a clear structural deficit in the brains of psychopaths has profound implications for clinicians, research scientists and the criminal justice system.' "
If there are structural differences in the brain of a psychopath compared to a non-psychopathic individual then it would be interesting to combine brain scans with the testing mentioned in the Newman study from the first article I posted. This could help psychologists get beyond using prisoners and start using the regular population in studies of psychopathy. Of course, people may be resistant to being used in a study of psychopathy but I don't think you necessarily have to share the purpose of the study with the participants and of course all testing would be confidential. Interesting, interesting....I may be able to use some of this in school.
