Yay! I ain't got no class today! LOL. I don't have wind symphony class today, as well as on Wednesday. I wish I could relax but I have all that damn homework (plus my internship on Monday and Wednesday) - so many papers to write so little time. I overslept today and missed my gym time which is frustrating. That makes 2 days in a row. I cannot oversleep anymore. I was up late the last 2 nights doing research for my papers so at least I was getting something done. UGH but still, I am tired and scatterbrained. I feel like I have ADD or something. I need to straighten up!
My husband and I watched Dexter last night. It was an awesome episode - only three more episodes left and the season is finally coming together. The first part of the season was moving kind of slow and I was worried that the show might have jumped the shark but maybe not. I am toying with the idea of starting a Dexter blog just so I can write and analyze the themes in that show (an excuse to watch all the episodes all over again, hehee). In addition to being highly entertaining most of the time, it is one interesting, thoughtful show. I don't know though, there is a lot to write about and I have too much on my plate right now. Maybe when I transfer my blog over to somewhere else I will make a Dexter corner.
After Dexter I turned to (when I should have been doing homework, dammit!) the learning channel and watched that show Sister Wives. Now that is one interesting show! I love the family dynamics and the women face many issues being in a plural marriage, like handling jealousy issues, making the most out of your relationship with your husband, independence, balancing your needs against the needs of others, to name a few. Whether you approve of their lifestyle or not or even like the husband Cody or the wives, there is much in the show that makes you think about relationships in general. I find it very edifying! ha.
While we were watching that, a Kate Plus Eight commercial came on. My husband and I cannot stand that lady and we feel sorry for her kids. This commercial spurred a conversation about divorce because Kate said something like "I am having anger issues about my divorce." I wonder about those anger issues. I really need to explore 'anger issues in divorce' and why some people hold onto that and let it color their relationship with their ex, which affects the children involved. If there aren't any children it really doesn't matter but when there are children involved it is good if the divorced parents could at least make an effort to get along and leave the anger issues for their therapist (because it takes therapy to get over that) or at least to talk about when the children aren't around. I am not sure how Kate handles these issues with her children because I don't watch the show and of course editing is involved. I know how other mothers have handled their anger issues and I am not impressed. This may be the pot calling the kettle black because lord knows I have anger and I vent it here but in my defense I vent it here so I don't have to vent elsewhere and I hope someday my writing will help someone (actually I think it already has). It is funny how much I write about this but these issues are seen in the counselors office and I will have to deal with them with future clients. So at the very least I have this experience, this knowledge and it may lead to some research down the road also.
Back to mother anger issues in divorce. Why can't a woman get over the divorce when she is the one that wanted the divorce and should be happier once the deed is done? Is it because she has to still have contact with the ex for the sake of the children? It is not fair to take the anger out on anyone because after all what did she think would happen - her ex would fall off the face of the earth after the divorce? Perhaps that is what all people in divorce wish would happen to their exes but of course it doesn't happen. It is all about the choices you make. You made the choice to have a child with someone. You made the choice to get a divorce. Where does the anger come in? I can totally see it if there is infidelity, abuse, or deception involved - yes I would be angry but you still can't go around being angry all the time and letting it show when you have to deal with another party in regards to a child. It isn't healthy for anybody. It is hard dealing with 'anger issues' but you seek help, you deal with it and move on.
Of course I have my own little experience to write about. Lets just say I know of a situation where the mom was unfaithful and obviously wasn't happy with her choice of mate. She got a divorce, taking the child with her. The dad was surprised and hurt of course; Especially when the mom made false allegations of abuse to try to excuse her poor behavior or maybe just to give an 'acceptable' reason for the divorce so she wouldn't look bad. The dad being a reasonable person tried to move on but also maintain a relationship with his child. From my perspective, it seems like every time the mom can (wow that must take an awful lot of energy - negative energy and spite), she raises a fuss over nothing about child support, custody and parenting time issues a lot of the time in front of the kid. And it is not in the best interest of the kid either, it is just to vent her anger or ill feelings. (This happens a lot and I have heard stories like this from a lot of fathers.) The dad tried to work with her, often giving in, often compromising for the sake of the child. The mom on the other hand, because of her anger issues, will not work with the dad hardly at all. This is still going on even after years and years. There comes a time when a person is not willing to give an inch anymore and anger builds in both parties after ongoing insults, manipulations, bullying and slights. First I wanna' know where does the original anger stem from? Is it because the mom made the wrong choice in mate originally and now she is stuck keeping contact? Is it because the dad is still a part of his kid's life? Is it because she received negative attention because of the divorce? What did she think would happen? Second I wanna' know when does it all stop? Again it comes done to choices a person makes and how they live with those choices. I will have to explore this issue further.
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As a reminder to me and side note ... Isn't it lovely how there are instances when you fall in love with your husband all over again? Those times when you have great conversations or are riffing (joking) on each other, making each other laugh. Simple times too, not always a special occasion or holidays just on those days or week-ends when there is nothing special going on or nothing in particular of note. You are reminded of what a great person you married and all the great things you share, have shared. This was one of those week-ends for me. I love my husband. I couldn't have found a better friend or supporter. He is the sweetest guy with depth of understanding, principles and ethics and a great sense of humor. Just what I always needed. 
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