Sore and Annoyed

I am so sore! I went to rehearsal Thursday night. I am a soldier in the play "Titus Andronicus". I thought it would be easy - walk on stage, stand a little bit, walk off. UM no. We have heavy swords we have to carry and all these movements/salutes we have to do. Yikes! The swords are like 10 - 15 pounds. My right arm hurts and my rectus femoris muscles (we have to kneel in one of the salutes). There are three other females in the army and we were joking that we are going to have some big right arms when all this is done. We are going to look crazy - out of proportion. A Popeye arm on the right and a little left arm.  I will have to start working out. It is fun though. The director keeps saying we are going to look badass. hahaha. I know we are going to get chain mail. Awesome!

 

Today I am trying to figure out what the hell Jean Baudrillard means when he is talking about Simulation. It is for the class that I hate. I am so annoyed with this crap. I guess I am not the deep thinker I thought I was.  This shit is philosophical BS. I tried to take a philosophy class last winter semester, "Lies, Deception, and Bullshit", to get a better grip on why so many people lie and BS their way through life. I ended up dropping the class because we spent too long trying to define exactly what lies, deception and bullshit are. It made my brain hurt, plus I was bored. Plus there were a lot of people in the class that talked just to hear the sound of their own voice - that is my definition of bullshit. Haha, well one of them anyway. So this class, "Reading Pop Culture" is reminding me of that. UGH! Not what I signed up for. This Baudrillard guy is trying to say that nothing is real, we are all just simulations and our world is a simulation. OK, certainly some of our lives are simulated - maybe quite a bit but sickness (most of the time) and death are real aren't they? If you get hit by a bus - that's real isn't it? And he is talking about signs. Aah geez, I don't even want to get into that. I am frustrated, needless to say. This class is going to Flub (you know I meant another F word) me up. I wanted all 4.O this semester. Dammit. Not with this class.

 

One bright spot - I got an 89 on my psych test. Awesome! The class average is around 69%. That sucks, but it is getting a little better. Did I stress how hard Dr. McCain's tests are? I feel drained of everything after I take her tests. I hope my study buddy did well.

 

My excitement for today...

I had lunch today at the cafe at school. There was some special event going on and the cafe was packed. I got a table but I ended up sharing my table with a speech professor, the Dean of the Business Dept and his secretary. That was interesting. It was a fixed menu so you had to take what you got. It was a spinach chicken salad with bacon and vinagrette dressing. It also had cavier. I do not eat seafood but I did try the cavier out of curiosity. It wasn't bad but it wasn't anything special. The salad was very good.

 

I had a psychology test today. It was very hard. I hope I did all right. There were a few things that I saw on the test that I did not study very well. Dammit! I am so drained now.

Busy, Busy

I have been so busy lately, and so tired. I have not had the time to blog. Actually, I felt a little more energized today than I have been so I worked on cleaning the house. I have been dragging lately. It has been so frustrating and stressful. Other than that it has been a good week.

 

Last Wednesday I got my scene for acting class. It is our final project - we have to do a scene with a partner. I got a good partner, Steve, and our scene is very interesting. I am a Human Resource person (and maybe dominatrix) who is interviewing this guy for a position in the company. I use him as my personal plaything. It is going to be very challenging for me because I have to be sexy, and act like I am having an orgasm . Yikes! I have not been feeling very sexy lately because I am the fattest I have ever been, so this is going to very hard. But this is good. I like a challenge. My monologue was not much of a challenge so now I get my chance to shine.

 

I made a new friend Wednesday at school (from acting class) and we had lunch at the cafe. Phil, my new friend, is planning on going to U of M Flint. He wrote in his blog that he is excited to be getting ready to transfer to U of M but he feels at home at Mott - he is starting to make friends and teachers are noticing him. I feel the same way. A good thing is that we know each other now, we can pal around at U of M and maybe the transition won't be so hard. He has already been accepted. He said I should have no problems getting in with my GPA (3.5 and climbing). I am still thinking about other options though.

 

My husband and I got to keep his son overnight on Thursday because he did not have school on Good Friday. It is nice to have some extra time with Jordan. He got to pal around with his cousin Danny a lot this week-end. Chuck and I gave him one of his Easter gifts early - a game he has been wanting forever. Chuck and I had to go to 4 stores to track it down it time for Easter. Well now he has it and he spent Thursday night yelling at it the game. I guess it is a lot harder than he remembered.

 

We took the boys to a laser show at the Planetarium Saturday. I think they had fun. Chuck and I enjoyed it. It was laser lights set to Jimi Hendrix music and then they did Led Zeppelin. Blast from the past - it was cool. Or maybe I should say groovy dude.  The funny thing was the Planetarium staff made an anouncement that there was "no smoking of any substance allowed, if you are caught smoking you will be asked to leave immediately - no questions asked." haha, I bet they get some people smoking weed. This week-end they have a Pink Floyd laser show. http://www.longway.org/

 

Sunday we spent with my husbands family. We had dinner with all the usual trimmings. I made beans and everybody raved over them. We stopped by my parents house afterwords. My nephews were there. I have three nephews, Kenny age 4, Alex who will be 2 in July, and lil Brent who will be 1 in July. They are all so cute. The two youngest seem a lot calmer than Kenny. My poor SIL has her hands full though, with 3 so young.

 

Yesterday I had my first rehearsal for the play I am in - Shakespeare's "Titus Andronicus". It is with the Flint City Theatre. It was interesting. We read through the whole play. I am only a soldier. I just wanted to get my feet wet onstage again. I did a lot of plays in high school but that has been almost 20 years now. I miss performing and it is good to be around theatre people again. Everyone is so interesting, talented and nice. It should be fun. http://www.flintcitytheatre.com/

 

Psych class has been interesting. I have a test tomorrow though and have not felt like studying one bit today. I have to get back to it though. I just felt like blogging real quick. It has relaxed me. I was feeling stressed earlier because I got some bad news. Now I feel better. More later.

Liars

I was listening to a radio show tonight while going to pick up my husband from work. It was about a study that was done on people that lie. Their brains were scanned and it was shown they have more white matter in their brain than a person who does not lie or at least does not tell a lot of lies. It was very interesting. I wish I knew the name of the show. It was all about lying and liars. It was on one of the public radio stations. I looked up some articles about the study:

 

http://www.usc.edu/uscnews/stories/11655.html

 

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4293520.stm

 

http://www.whatistheword.com/story/Lifestyle_35.html

Talking about Bored with your life? Bid on this guy's - Internet - MSNBC.com

 Wow, this sad, interesting and brave all at the same time. 

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Bored with your life? Bid on this guy's - Internet - MSNBC.com

Why I went back to school...

Now that I am about to graduate with my Associate's Degree I am thinking about the next phase of my education. I also have been looking back at how far I have come, what my inspiration was for going back to school.

 

INSPIRATION

 

There were three things that inspired me to go back to school in 2006.

 

First, my sister in law, Cecelia, graduated in 2006 with her associate’s degree. I remember watching her graduate and feeling very proud. She made it! I also felt I should be going to school, I should be graduating. That graduation inspired me. She is an inspiration herself because she was able to succeed in school while being a wife and mother of 2 kids plus a few other problems she overcame that I won’t go into detail about.

 

Second, well I am not sure this is an inspiration; maybe, in a negative sense. I hated my job at the time. I was working at an ambulance service doing office work and billing. I thought it would be my dream job but it was not. I found out I hate sitting around an office, doing paperwork. YUCK! I guess there were some aspects of the job I liked but it was not enough. I had to do something different.

 

Third, and this is pretty silly. I was sitting around playing “The Sims 2”. You can have your sim people go to college. So I was playing the game, had a sim in college and I thought, “WTF? Why the hell am I sitting here wasting my time pretending to be in college? I should actually go!” So I went. You can inspiration from the strangest places and circumstances.

 

MORE DECISIONS TO MAKE

 

I had started college a few years ago, so I already had some credits. That made it a little easier to start again. I quit going to school back then because I had to work while going to school and I couldn’t do it. I was not strong enough; my health was not good enough. I actually had to drop a whole semester (winter semester – darn cold) because of my CFS and fibromyalgia. I am so thankful that this time around I am strong enough. I also have more direction than the last time. Last time I wasn’t quite sure which degree to pursue (I had all kinds of thoughts/ideas running around in my head; mostly about how I can make some good money). I was scared that I would not have the energy to go into psychology. Although, when I went back in 2006 I still wasn’t sure, I soon decided that I would pursue a degree in counseling (whether it is through psychology or social work). I said to hell with it! I am going for it. Now that I am about to complete the first phase of my education, I need to decide which school I want to go to and exactly which bachelor degree I want. I have always wanted to go to U of M Flint but now I am having second thoughts. I can go to Rochester College right at my community college campus. It would be cheaper and I would still have classes with Dr. McCain, my favorite prof. She says the Rochester program for Counseling Psychology is a good one. I certainly think it would be easier for me to stay on the Mott campus but I can’t give up the U of M dream. I have much to research and ponder.

Back to school

I am sad. I didn't get half the things I wanted to get done over my week off from school. Now it is time to go back. I need another week! I can't wait to get back to psych class but I wish I could have done more reading. The house is still a mess too. I hate the house being a mess - I can't study if it is a mess. I feel guilty. This past week I was feeling yucky. I think it was the weather. I was so tired all week long and the first part of the week I was very achy. Stupid CFS and fibromyalgia! Oh well, I guess it was my week to goof off. I hope I will feel better this week and get some stuff done. I need to get motivated. I wish there was a pill for that. Haha.

Tinkering

I have been playing the computer game "The Sims" and in they (the Sims) can go and tinker with stuff - the dishwasher, shower, or a car. It has been reminding me of my Dad. He always says that when he retires he is just going to stay in his garage and tinker with stuff. Haha. I worry about my Dad sometimes. He works very hard - 7 days a week, 12 hour shifts when he can get the work, which is quite a lot. He does not have a lot of time to do fun things or hobbies, etc. I hope he makes it to retirement and is able to have a long enjoyable one. I don't think that 'tinkering' will be enough for him. He always needs to be doing stuff. We have talked a little about retirement. He and my mother do not want the same things. I want my Dad to have something for himself, something that he really wants because he has worked so hard all these years and has helped me and my brother out numerous times. I guess I am worried that because my Dad and my Mom do not want the same things then neither of them will get what they want or be happy. I want them to be happy. I hope that they can compromise. My Dad has already decided, though, that he will not be able to get what he wants. I want to tell him not to give up - that is a shitty thing to do to yourself. I wish he would find a way to work it out. I think there may be a way for both of my parents to have what they want. I have a few ideas but I don't think I should get in the middle of it, anyway there is no situation yet. He is not retired and my Mom does not know about any of this. I do know that she gets mad at my Dad because he is not open, emotionally. This is not likely to change. I probably should not be writing this but I think this is a problem with some people, especially older people. Some men just do not show their emotions. They repress them. That is what helps them keep going, and working so much. It has been on my mind so I thought I would write it out. I used to be scared that my Dad would die when I was young because his Dad died when he was only 16. I am lucky to have my Dad around a lot longer but I will be very pissed off if he dies before he retires. To work so long and so hard and not be able to sit back and enjoy it! I also will be pissed off if he is not able to enjoy a retirement because he gives up on his dreams or just doesn't form any dreams because he does not think it can happen. And most of all, I will also be pissed off if my parents become two mean old people always mad at each other and the world because neither of them can have what they want.

 

Here is a poem I had to analyze for the class "Reading Pop Culture". It reminded me of my Dad. My critique is after.

 

The Unknown Citizen

W. H. Auden

(To JS/07 M 378 This Marble Monument Is Erected by the State)

He was found by the Bureau of Statistics to be

One against whom there was no official complaint,

And all the reports on his conduct agree

That, in the modern sense of an old-fashioned word, he was a saint,

For in everything he did he served the Greater Community.

Except for the War till the day he retired

He worked in a factory and never got fired,

But satisfied his employers, Fudge Motors Inc.

Yet he wasn't a scab or odd in his views,

For his Union reports that he paid his dues,

(Our report on his Union shows it was sound)

And our Social Psychology workers found

That he was popular with his mates and liked a drink.

The Press are convinced that he bought a paper every day

And that his reactions to advertisements were normal in every way

Policies taken out in his name prove that he was fully insured,

And his Health-card shows he was once in a hospital but left it cured.

Both Producers Research and High-Grade Living declare

He was fully sensible to the advantages of the Installment Plan

And had everything necessary to the Modern Man:

A phonograph, a radio, a car, and a Frigidaire.

Our researchers into Public Opinion are content

That he held the proper opinions for the time of year;

When there was peace, he was for peace: when there was war, he went.

He was married and added five children to the population,

Which our Eugenist says was the right number for a parent of his generation.

And our teachers report that he never interfered with their education.

Was he free? Was he happy? The question is absurd:

Had anything been wrong, we should certainly have heard.

From Another Time by W. H. Auden, published by Random House. Copyright

© 1940 W. H. Auden, renewed by The Estate of W. H. Auden

I like the poem "The Unknown Citizen" by W.H.Auden. It kind of reminded me of my Dad. He works, pays his union dues, doesn't complain, just does what he need to do and does not over analyze things too. It is sad though. I was always think he is going to work until he dies and not have time to enjoy his life or retirement. He won't ever get to enjoy freedom but if he had the freedom I don't think he would know what to do with it. Too many years of doing what was expected of him, never thinking about what he really wants out of life. In my opinion that is the main idea of the peom.

A great many people, especially men, just live their lives like the "Unknown Citizen" Hey, it is easy just to live a life that already planned out for you - as long as you have the trappings that society finds important; such as being insured and having everything "necessary to the Modern Man: a phonograph, a radio, a car and a Frigidaire." Just go with the flow, do what is expected by society, don't overthink things (don't analyze society or your own actions). How can you be unhappy living a life like that? I say that especailly me live like this because they are supposed to work, be the breadwinners and never cry or complain. Stiff upper lip, be a man! My Dad would tell me (when discussing work issues) " It is not for me to wonder why but to do or die." I never understood that until I got older. That is all most people or jobs expect from you - do what they want, work how they want and get things done in their time frame and don't think about it to much. A bunch of mindless soldiers marching to a drum, willing to sacrifice their happiness and freedom to the cause. The cause being whatever is the fashionable beliefs of the day.

You really can't blame people for midlessly following society. Even if you analyze what is going on around you and disagree with society it is sometimes easier (and healthier or best for your survival) to just follow along. How many of us have not gotten caught up in just day to day living, trying to get by without really analyzing what we are doing or if we are really happy? Sometimes thinking for yourself and acting on those thoughts can be a luxury that cannot be afforded.

----------------------------------------------

I wrote this blog as a tribute to my Dad. I just want to express how much he means to me. How much I appreciate all his hardwork. Yes I do see it and appreciate it now. I may not have always but I see it now. I also want him to know that I may have not always followed his advice but I was listening. Now I hope that he will take some time for himself. I also hope that I can work as hard as him so if he needs me to, I will be able to take care of him.

OMG, I am going to cry!!

I am so emotional the last couple of days. I am going to cry, so rather than that, I am going to write out what I am getting so emotional about in my blog. I can't go to bed because my husband has wicked gas (yes, I am tattling on him - he'll love it the attention whore). I shouldn't have made those sloppy joes - no quality time tonight!!

 

I finished up my wedding day remembrance blog I started last month. I have been a blogging fool lately. It is really helping my writing though. The more I write the more I want to write. OK, back to what I came on here for - I was thinking I should start getting all my stuff together for my scrapbook. Gee whiz! I still need to order my pictures too! Well I was waiting for the walls to be painted so I would have a place to put them rather than store them. Now all that is done (My husband did some major work on the house last fall - I will have to write another blog about that). Yikes, I am all over the place tonight. What I want to write about is I found the toast my friends gave me at the wedding. I am so thankful they wrote it down and thought to give to me. My friends are so thoughtful. Now I have it forever and it is beautiful. I hope my uncle got it on video but I remember how I felt when they said it - I almost cried. I am going to put in my blog too so I will be sure to have it always. I am blessed with such good friends that I can see us as old ladies having tea together. Here is the toast:

 

Stephanie began:

Over the years Jackie has meant something different to us.

 

Stephanie said: You have been to me, Aunt Jackie. I have loved you as my blood just as you have done the same for me.

 

Melissa said: You have been my partner in crime since the 3rd grade. From crawling home in ice storms to being the first to know I was pregnant with my first son. You will always be the person I love to talk to on the phone late at night.

 

Rachel said: You have been my best friend for years and my sister for life. From chasing demons in dreams to standing beside me through to this day. Jackie is not one to give her heart to just anybody, so Chuck I am sure you know how lucky you are to have our Jackie, our sister, our friend. From now on you will be our Chuck. We love you.

 

aaaawwwww! I can't wait to see my wedding video. I wish I would have had a wonderful toast for them but I was to overcome with emotion at the time.

 

 

Melissa and I really did crawl home from school one time. The whole way home was iced over and every time we tried to walk we fell down and broke our asses. And yes I did ger her out of school, pretending I was her mother on the phone, to take her to get her pregnancy test. I remember how nervous she was. I remember when she walked out of the DR's office. She could not even speak. She was pregnant! I remember how scared I was for my friend but at the same time I felt such joy.

 

Rachel and I have been through some shit together. We had many late nights with her being scared and feeling haunted. We have had a few supernatural encounters. We both had love for some dumbasses that did not love us back. Through it all we became sisters. She always tells me I am more of a sister to her than her blood sisters. She always builds me up.

 

Stephanie is Rachel's daughter. She is so beautiful. I love her so much and I wish I lived closer to her so I could be the Aunt to her I really want to be. She is all that Rachel and I wished for. I remember when she was born. I was scared for Rachel, I didn't know how she was going to do it as a single Mom, but she came through and there is beautiful Stephanie.

 

And Chuck, I am blessed with the kindest husband that my friends can love too.

 

 

 

 

Talking about Woman had phobia of leaving bathroom - More health news- msnbc.com

  Wow! I have to print this one out for Psych class.

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Woman had phobia of leaving bathroom - More health news- msnbc.com
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Stuff

My Mom and I started going through my Aunt Marlene's things last night. My Aunt died on New Years Eve. Aunt Marlene had accumulated a lot of stuff over the years. Boy, she had enough costume jewelry to ice a nursing home full of old ladies (sone of the stuff is cool - vintage). She had enough beads for a huge Mardi Gras celebration. New Marlenes - haha. Some of the jewelry used to be my Grandma's also. I think of Aunt Marlene, I think of my Grandma, then I get depressed. My poor Mom too. It is just sad, going through her things. I can't believe she is dead. I thought she be around forever - chattering. She was tough. WTF happened? Have to stay strong though.

Blogging

"Blogs are supposed to be the ultimate expression of unvarnished personal opinion." from the following article:

http://tech.msn.com/news/articlepcw.aspx?cp-documentid=6411895&page=3

 

or here is the definition from the dictionary:

Definition:	an online diary; a personal chronological log of thoughts published on a Web page; also called Weblog, Web log
Example:	Typically updated daily, blogs often reflect the personality of the author.

"blog." Webster's New Millennium™ Dictionary of English, Preview Edition (v 0.9.7). Lexico Publishing Group, LLC. 11 Mar. 2008. <Dictionary.com http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/blog>.

 

I like the quote from the article. That was what I was thinking a blog should be. I like blogging but it is a little frightening to put all your thoughts and feelings out on the web for any and everyone to see. People will abuse it -at the very least interpret things the wrong way. That being said I will keep on blogging and anyone who reads my blogs will get 100% real ME! Not some trite BS. I guess I have been feeling bad because I have been feeling self-centered lately - patting myself on the back for my accomplishments in school. But I am proud of my accomplishments. I am proud of my work and I want to document it so I can look back on it during tough times and know I can accomplish a lot when I put my mind to it.

 

 

ME

 

My husband recently gave me an awesome compliment. Well, he has given me many (and yes I will brag on it) but I have been thinking about this lately. He said that I am very strong, that I am a fighter, and that I know what I want, I know what is right and I go for it, no matter what. He said I don't waffle on things. I was pleased to hear it (pleased that somebody recognized it) because I have worked hard at going after what I want. I have always been a strong person (a fighter) but I have not always been very confident or a go getter. Going to college and overcoming the obstacles that I have, to succeed in school, has taught me a lot about setting goals, being confident, and about my own will power. I am proud of this and this is my life at the present. I want to write about it - maybe it will inspire someone. I also want to pay tribute to my husband because if not for him I don't think I could have gone this far. Sure I can dream - dream big, but he has been there with love and support. I also want to let my husband know (I could not articulate it at the time) that I do waffle but I am not afraid, have never been afraid to dream and I think that is a part of my success. I think of what I want, I think about what I have to do to get it, I do it. I don't let fear or doubt overcome me. I use positive visualation to get me through. It really works! Thanks Oprah! If I have to revise a dream/goal or timeline I do it, but I keep going for it. You just have to keep on keeping on. And I do, but I could not do it without the support of my husband (to keep food on the table, to keep shelter, to keep me down to earth, to keep me laughing and feeling loved) and I want him (and everyone) to know that it means the world to me.

 

http://ezinearticles.com/?Positive-Visualization---Being-Clear-About-What-You-Want-In-Life&id=795203

Talking about It's tough being a stepdad, study confirms - Kids and parenting- msnbc.com

  This is a good article but the discussion afterwords is great!

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It's tough being a stepdad, study confirms - Kids and parenting- msnbc.com
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Here is the link to the discussion.

http://boards.msn.com/MSNBCboards/thread.aspx?boardid=762&ThreadID=561636&BoardsParam=HIPDelay%3d1

Great Article

This is a great article about creativity.

 

http://www6.comcast.net/news/articles/health/2008/03/10/HealthBeat.Brain.on.Jazz/

So tired...

I am so tired but I can't sleep. I am reading a great book - "The Robber Bride" by Margaret Atwood. I am getting to the good part; plus this book makes me think about things - it makes me want to write. I have read it once before but it is the kind of book you can read over again because the characters, the story, and writing are superb. I will have to write more about it when I finish it.

 

Sunday we were very busy. Me and my husband, stepson and his girlfriend went bowling. I have not been bowling in almost 2 years. I ended up kicking all their butts!  We had fun although we all bowled like crap. The high score was 98. Gee whiz, bowling is expensive too! WTF, why is everything going sky high? I guess no one wants anyone to have any fun any more, well except the very rich. We have to find some cheaper activities, hehe. I feel bad for the kids. It seems like I had it easier in the fun department when I was in JR high. Things may have been a little safer (not too sure) and maybe things weren't cheaper (I think they were a little bit) but it seem my parents and some of my friends parents had more money then the parents of today.

 

Then, after dropping the girlfriend (she is cute, seems sweet and is into NASCAR like my stepson - good for him!) off at home, we headed out to visit my husband's brother and nephew. My brother-in-law had a stroke about 4 weeks ago. The family has been trying to take turns going out to his place (he lives about an hour away from everyone) on the week-ends to make sure he is doing all right. He is doing better, good for someone who has had a stroke. His short term memory has been affected. I am hoping it gets better though; he seems to get frustrated about it. It can be frustrating, but I want him to relax right now and not worry too much about it. I think he will get some of it (shrt term mem) back once he is feeling better (he is still having headaches - should not be stroke related at this point but...) and his stress level is down. It is going to take time. Of course he has money worries (as well as other health issues that need to be addressed - it all takes money and some damn good insurance), not being able to work and all. I am hoping and praying for the best.

 

We dropped my stepson back at his Mom's house on our way back home. We get to see him tomorrow so that is good. Then me and my hubby went home to spend some quality time It was a good day yesterday. Now I need to sleep so I can work on getting the house all cleaned up while I am on Spring Break.  Oh, and also get ahead on my reading for school.

 

 

Semi-Pro, Flint Michigan

I saw the movie "Semi-Pro" today. It was OK - kind of funny but not as funny as I expected. I was looking forward to seeing it because it was filmed in Flint. It was cool to see Flint on film and hear it mentioned so many times. My stepson and nephew really liked the movie - a good time was had by all.

I saw the preview for the "Sex and the City" movie coming out in May. I got excited! I can't wait to go see that - it looks good, although it seems like they gave away all the details in the preview.

FLINT, MICHIGAN

In an article on MSN, from Forbes.com, rated Flint the 3rd most miserable city. Detroit was the first. I believe that both Detroit and Flint are in the top ten of America's most dangerous cities also. It is just sad. I love Michigan. I grew up outside of Detroit and have much love for Detroit - my Dad is from Detroit. I have lived outside the Flint area going on 13 years now. I have a lot of love for Flint too. I hope and pray that both Detroit and Flint can be revitalized. It is going to take a miracle. A lot needs to be done, I am not sure I can grasp the scope of it all. We need jobs, we need people to start visiting the cities again - shop there, attend events, etc. Flint has a lot to offer and there are some great people striving to make things better. There is an awesome cutlural center in Flint - The Whiting (Flint Symphony Orchestra), The Flint Institute of Music (I have take lessons there, it is a great resource), Flint Instiute of Arts, The Longway Planetarium, and a lot more. I go to school in Flint - at Mott Community College. It is a great place to go to school. Having U of M in Flint is helping to revitalize the downtown but more jobs, more people visiting the city, restaurants, stores, are needed downtown. It is hard because people will not go downtown (and spend money) because there isn't any stores or many restaurants; but no one will open up any stores or restaurants down there because there are not many people spending money downtown (and because of the negative reputation). Flint and Detroit need bigtime help, government help. The state of Michigan does not have any money. We are in bad shape. We need to develop new industries but no one wants to pay anyone a decent wage. We need the U.S. government to do something or this whole country is going to continue going down hill and will end up like Flint and Detroit. So many, many layers of problems.

http://realestate.msn.com/Buying/Article_forbes.aspx?cp-documentid=6171960

http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0921299.html

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/11/18/dangerous.cities.ap/

 

SPRING BREAK!!!

It is now my spring break - funny, I don't see spring beginning. OK, maybe it is mid-semster break then. I am just glad to be getting a break. I need to catch up on some reading though; and I intend to practice my writing so I will be blogging a lot - I think.... well that is my plan.

 

I did my presentation today (it was on the wedding website The Knot - I spent 3 years on there, hahah! Then once you are married they kick you over to The Nest) and turned in my paper for the Reading Pop Culture Class. I am so glad that is over. I did not do so well, in my opinion. I was not prepared; I could have done a better job. The class seemed to like it though, and they asked a lot of questions, so that was good. I hope I won't get too bad of a grade.  I am not proud of my paper either. I just threw together last minute and I don't think I went into the depth I could have on the subject. Maybe I can rewrite it - not that I want to but I will if given the chance. I think I will post it here and pick it apart while I am blogging on other things.

 

Artifact Analysis

The Knot: Constructing Weddings

 

 

\            If you are planning a wedding, look no further than the nation’s leading wedding resource (BusinessWire), “The Knot”, a publicly traded commodity (nasdaq - KNOT). The media company “The Knot” seeks to be “most comprehensive resource for couples seeking information and services to help plan their weddings and their future lives together.”(“theknot.com) It does a pretty fine job of it too – the company encompasses many websites for wedding planning, family and finance advice (“thenest.com”), shopping, and also print magazines pertaining to the subjects. My focus will be on the website “theknot.com”.

The intended audience of “theknot.com” was women who are planning traditional weddings, ages 18 – 35. The audience has grown to include older brides and also gay couples. Younger women, not of marriageable age have been known to visit “theknot.com” to get ideas for prom (eventually a site for them was created – promspot.com), or even just get a head start on planning their “perfect day”. Wedding venders and students intent on going into the wedding planning business are also known to ‘lurk’ on the site. Soliciting is forbidden except in designated areas but recently married brides will come on and sell their used wedding décor. There are brides, that once married, continue to surf the message boards and offer advice and chat with friends or make fun of brides that do not have the proper construct (in a seasoned brides eyes) of what a wedding should be.

“The Knot.com” (www.theknot.com) has become part of popular culture in large part because of women’s desire to have the perfect wedding. It is a gathering place for women planning a wedding; a place where brides can find other women from their area or who share their same tastes to vent their frustrations about planning, fiancé’s, family, wedding guests, and share their plans, or just plain show off. “The Knot” also makes it easier for busy, working women to get ideas, find vendors, and get product/service reviews fairly quickly – at the click of the mouse. Wedding vendors go there to advertise for business and lurk to see what brides are saying about them. Friends and family of brides visit the website to help in the planning or to get gift ideas. “The Knot” has become the website of choice for wedding planning. Many different tastes and aesthetics are represented on “The Knot”; if it is not there you can bet “The Knot” or the brides on “The Knot” will convince you that your concept of the perfect wedding is not good enough and that you should construct another. And you can do it all on “The Knot.com”, a comprehensive guide to planning a wedding of taste that every woman will desire.

“The Knot.com” reflects popular tastes and desires through its very existence. If there was not a desire to have perfect wedding there would be no “Knot”. The website itself is similar to bridal magazines – heavy on advertising but light on substance. Unlike the old bridal magazine though, “The Knot” has a message board where brides share ideas and reviews. “The Knot” is a great indicator of what the popular tastes are in the wedding industry due to the input of all the brides that are on the message boards each day. It is a powerful and timely reflection of our culture – what is hot and what is not, what is in and what is out. While weddings are the main focus of “The Knot” and it’s boards, and wedding planning is broken down into the minutest little details, many other issues are discussed – every topic is discussed from the trivial (new movies, housekeeping) to the meaningful (sex, politics, spousal abuse).

“With over 2 million unique members and more than 4,200 new members a day, The Knot has the largest audience -- bar none -- of wedding-obsessed, cash-wielding brides.” (theknot.com); with an audience like that how can “The Knot” not shape popular tastes and desires. “The Knot” knows it’s power and makes the most of it. It has made the wedding a commodity, praying on the desires of women, hailing them to conform to the ideology that a wedding is “their special day” and they must feel like a princess on that day and get whatever they want. “The Knot” makes it very easy for a bride to get caught up in spending or doing whatever it takes to have the perfect wedding. The message boards are an exercise in consumption; promoting hegemonic values dictating the taste and aesthetics of the perfect wedding. If you don’t have the perfect dress, the perfect reception location or the new trendy bauble (monogrammed cake toppers, for example) like everyone else then you feel like a wedding schlub – quit being a slacker and get with the program! Peer pressure at its worst, because although the message boards, and the fact that most everyone on the boards is a bride planning a wedding, makes it feel like you are all one peer group, you really are not. There are many different value systems and income brackets on “The Knot” but that desire for the perfect day makes it easy for all the brides to fall into one hegemonic group full of desire and consumerism, and pulls the lower income brides along with the upper income brides leading all to believe that “you deserve one perfect day no matter what the cost.”

“The Knot” with its fresh light blue and green design and it’s well organized categories and articles makes it easy for brides/consumers to navigate. It is easy on the eyes. The website does contain a lot of information and can be a bit overwhelming but the shear value of having everything to do with planning a wedding at the click of the mouse lures brides/consumers back. In addition to message boards (organized in many different categories: by locality, wedding date, wedding type, or subject – i.e. ceremony décor, vows, reception décor), “The Knot” has articles on traditions, trends, and wedding problems and nightmares. It also has a massive amount of pictures of everything to do with a wedding so brides can copy ideas. There are vender pages for brides to search our preferred local venders. To top it all off, “The Knot” has its own store, “The Knot Wedding Shop” for all kinds of wedding related items. It has taken the one stop shopping concept to a whole new level.

Promoting the ideology of the perfect wedding, the perfect marriage is how “The Knot” gets under the skin of brides. “The Knot” makes it easy for brides to get a sense of what is right and trendy in the world of weddings. The website lays out all the (hegemonic) values, traditions, etiquette, and trends of having a wedding. “The Knot” holds to the traditions but does change, shift, morph itself to include changes to new trends. It has the perfect venue – suturing weddings with the web, and the perfect dupes (sentimental brides yearning for that hegemonic value – the ultimate wedding and marriage), as well as a ready made research group or think tank on the message boards. In fact, the institute of marriage owes a lot to “The Knot” for promoting weddings and marriage; if not for websites (and magazines) of this ilk (of which “The Knot” is a big portion) then marriage would be losing popularity by now. I believe it is the desire of women (working women of all ages who can be independent but dream of that “one special day”), dreaming of that perfect wedding is part (that and the desire for children and tax breaks) of what keeps the institution of marriage moving along.

 

REFERENCES

 

THEKNOT.com.  05  MAR.  2008. The Knot Inc.

 

            1997 – 2008 http://theknot.com/default.shtml.

 

BUSINESSWIRE: The Knot Inc. Acquires ``The Bump'' and Expands Position in the  

 

            Baby Market.  Msn.com.  06  MAR.  2008.  28  Feb.  2008 

 

<http://news.moneycentral.msn.com/ticker/article.aspx?Feed=BW&Date=200802

 

28&ID=8257710&Symbol=US:KNOT>.

 

Priceless - it is right next to my wedding pics!

 

WOOHOO!!

I am so happy. I got a 92% on my latest Abnormal Psych test! YES! It was so hard too. I hope my study buddy did well also. WOOHOO, you just cannot realize how stoked I am right now.

I got a 99% on my math test. Yeah! I hope to keep that up so I can get  a 4.0 in the class. Math is not my strongest subject. Most of the class did well. I guess the average score was 90%. The teacher was amazed - she said that never happens. The teacher, Jo, thinks that we have got a hold of her tests somehow. At first I thought she was joking but she is kind of serious. She said either that or her tests are too easy. We told her to give herself some credit, and give us some credit. The majority of the class wants to do well. We all studied our butts off and some people even went for tutoring. Jo is a good teacher but she treats us like we are 3rd graders or something. I like her but sometimes she makes comments that are annoying. It is her study guides that makes us all successful. If the majority of the class does the study guide (which is basically the test - same types of problems just with different numbers), Jo goes over the answers right before the test. How can we go wrong?

Now if I can only get this stupid paper and presentation done for Reading Pop Culture (the class I do not like). I would be ecstatic.

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, isn't it?

Psycho's

It is a good thing I am going into psychology. I wish I had the stamina to go to med school - I would have went into psychiatry. I find psycho's fascinating (and all mental illnesses for that matter). Psychopaths/sociopaths are special people - they are not all serial killers, you know. While I find them interesting, they repulse me too. I still want to get in their head and see what they are thinking. I guess I am able to do that to a certain point. I just need confirmation though. You can get that through their behavior - you can tell what they are thinking by their actions but it would be nice if you could trust them enough and they were honest enough to really tell you what they are thinking and why they do the things they do. Often times, though, they are clueless to their own thinking; the whys and reasons of their behavior. There is not a lot of introspection going on. They are on automatic pilot and do their best to act like normal people, or better than normal people. But you can always tell becuase they come accross as fake - they are not being real. Inside they are a seething mass of BS.

 

 

How about another personality disorder? This one seems to fit someone I know. Can you guess who I am thinking of?

 

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

 

Category

---

Personality Disorders

 

Etiology

---

Like most personality disorders, there are many factors that may contribute to the development of symptoms.  Because the symptoms are long lasting, the idea that symptoms begin to emerge in childhood or at least adolescence is well accepted.  The negative consequences of such symptoms, however, may not show themselves until adulthood.

 

Symptoms

---

The symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder revolve around a pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and sense of entitlement. Often individuals feel overly important and will exaggerate achievements and will accept, and often demand, praise and admiration despite worthy achievements.  They may be overwhelmed with fantasies involving unlimited success, power, love, or beauty and feel that they can only be understood by others who are, like them, superior in some aspect of life.

 

There is a sense of entitlement, of being more deserving than others based solely on their superiority.  These symptoms, however, are a result of an underlying sense of inferiority and are often seen as overcompensation.  Because of this, they are often envious and even angry of others who have more, receive more respect or attention, or otherwise steal away the spotlight.

 

Treatment

---

Treatment for this disorder is very rarely sought.  There is a limited amount of insight into the symptoms, and the negative consequences are often blamed on society.  In this sense, treatment options are limited.  Some research has found long term insight oriented therapy to be effective, but getting the individual to commit to this treatment is a major obstacle.

 

Prognosis

---

Prognosis is limited and based mainly on the individual's ability to recognize their underlying inferiority and decreased sense of self worth.  With insight and long term therapy, the symptoms can be reduced in both number and intensity.

 

 

Talking about Black pups face doggie discrimination - Pet health- msnbc.com

 

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Black pups face doggie discrimination - Pet health- msnbc.com
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This is very sad. More later...

2 things down, 2 more to go...

It was a good day. I did my monologue for acting class. I did pretty good. I was sooo nervous but I used it. It came out all right. I could have done a little better, I think - made it a little more animated. Well anyway that is done. My professor said I did a good job and that I have a good story telling voice. I really do miss performing. I am going to get back into it.  I signed up for a bit part in The Flint City Theatre's production of "Titus". It should be interesting.

Psych class was interesting - all about anxiety. I love talking about psychology and all the diseases, treatments, and schools of thought. I wish I could get some one on one time with Dr. McCain - I have a million questions for her. It is like I want to go to counseling just to talk about becoming/being a counselor. Yeah, biweekly would be nice. I wish I could just concentrate on psychology sometimes. Well that and also performing (acting, singing, band). In fact, if I get admitted to U of M Flint, I am going to see if I can double major, Psych and Theatre Performance. I think it might be too much, though.

Math - the bane of my existence! Well not really, but I had a test today. We had a ton of homework for that class this past week-end. I got it all done but it took me away from the stuff I really want to concentrate on. As far as math goes, this is a pretty good class. The teacher is awesome. She gives you a study guide (which has the same kind of problems as the test) the class before the test, then if most of the class does the study guide she will work all the peoblems out on the board right before the test. It is a great way to cement what we have learned. I think I did pretty good on the test.

2 more to go...

I have a psych test on Wednesday. I am going to study my ass off and hopefully get an A. It is the essay questions that kick my ass. 

And I have a paper and presentation due Friday for Reading Pop Culture - the class I am not fond of. I have been dragging my feet in this assignment. I need some divine inspiration for this!

Once I get that stuff done - at the end of this week then it is SPRING BREAK!! WOOHOO!!